The Travelers Gift (x2)

Ok, so I've read some more of this thought-provoking book. Imagine that? We left off after the first two decisions that determine personal success. David started his little journey through time and space with President Harry Truman learning "The Buck Stops Here." Then he ventured over to King Solomon being given the 2nd decision: "I Will Seek Wisdom." Okie dokie... After these encounters David is thrown into the civil war meeting with Colonel Chamberlain; a name which I honestly did not recognize. Before you go getting your panties all in a twist I know full-well what prompted the Civil War, and the outcome. I do not however remember all the military folk, where they fought, why, ect and so on. Back to the point: David is given the 3rd decision of personal success by Col. Chamberlain: "I Will Be A Person of Action". Col. Chamberlain taught him this by leading the Yanks in a full on Charge against the Rebels. They were greatly out-numbered by their opposition and in the face of all this, Col Chamberland refused to die retreating, instead he gave the order to charge, bayonets at the ready and the "Rebs" retreated.

David learned not to put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Yet another idea I love, and will work better at going forward. (:

Next David finds himself in a musty ol' room not nearly large enough for the 8 people it housed. The only person who saw him (oh- I forgot to mention that while Dave is being transported from place to place the only people who can see and talk with David are the ones he's there to see, King Solomon, Truman, ect) was a young girl. The young girl was none other than Ms. Anne Frank. This brave and amazing little girl teaches David the 4th decision: "I Will Choose To Be Happy."

Anne Frank shows David that your circumstances do not have to dictate your mood and that optimism is never lost unless you allow it to be. She tells David that he must decide to be happy at the start of everyday- and he will be; that he must smile in the face of fear and defeat.

Personally I have been working at being happier across the board for a while now. Honestly when something urks me or I'm just in a pissy mood I tell myself that it doesn't matter and screw it, and that I am happy. My theory is sort of "Fake it, till you make it." I keep telling myself that I'm happy and before I know I am. For years I laughed at people like (who I am now)... people running around telling themselves things don't matter. But I learned that I am responsible for my life, my choices and much like David learned with his first visit (and first decision) that if I am happy I'll make better choices for myself and my happiness will continue.

I am not saying that everything is ALWAYS ok or that I am always happy... hell no. That's just unrealistic. I am also not saying that we should just turn a blind eye to real and potentially stressful situations... but even these situations do not have to bring you down emotionally! (: So, far I'm loving this book. You should all go check it out.

~~~~~

A few days ago I started the backyard. Well, since then it's rained everyday so it was put on hold. Today no rain, back to some nice weather (probably just in time for JLC and her Hubs to head out of town, ha haha) so I ventured out this morning. That was short-lived. I give up! My back hurts! Yes, I'm whining- get over it! I've decided to just rent a Rotor-tiller the beginning of next week. My pops is going to help me pick it up and drop it off and I'll get it done all by my lonesome! (: I'm still proud of myself for getting it done on my own. Just because I'm not doing it by hand doesn't mean ANYTHING!! I am woman hear my roar... or something.

Old Navy Update

The good news is that I was misinformed on the details for today's sale! It isn't a military thing, instead it was their "Friends and Family" deal! :) A sale is a sale and I don't care what you call it I'm always down to save my monies! Also it wasn't just for today, it starts today and goes through August 2nd! :) So if you were bummed that you couldn't take advantage of the sale today, you now have more time! woo hooo

~~~~

Please anyone who needs a giggle today go check this out. We've all seen the Etrade Baby commercials but this one was classic. "Shankapotomus?!" HILARIOUS!

The Travelers Gift

Has anyone else read this? Basically the main character, David Ponder lost his job and is forced to reexamine what truly matters in his life. David comes to a cross roads while driving on an icy road, much like when George Bailey "wishes he were never born", in the classic "It's a Wonderful Life" and he is transported through time to visit some infamous characters that will provide him with the "7 decisions that determine personal success."

I'm just wondering if anyone else has read this and what your thoughts are on it...

So far I've only read about the first 2 decisions (to personal success):

1: "The Buck Stops Here" I personally love this one and completely agree. David is taught to take responsibility for his past and therefore his present (and future), by the one and only Mr. Harry Truman.

"I am where I am today- mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially- because of decisions I have mad. My decisions have always been governed by my thinking. Therefore, I am where I am today-mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially- because of how I think. Today I will begin the process of changing where I am- mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially- by changing the way I think."

I love it! One way or the other we chose to be where we are (in all of the ways listed above)... we created our path a long time ago with the choice to go left versus right, the choice of this school over that school, the choice to join the military, to marry a military man... we all have the option to make a different choice so we can't blame our circumstances, our parents, spouses or anything thing/one else for where we are in our lives!

2: "I Will Seek Wisdom": This decision rather confused me. David meets King Solomon while he is resolving the argument between two mothers who are fighting over a baby. They both claim the child is theirs and should be allowed to keep him. King Solomon offers to cut the baby in half so that they can each have a part of him. We all know how this story ends... he gives the baby to the woman who opted to give her son to the other woman over having him killed.

King Solomon and David have a discussion about many things. King Solomon tells David to seek the counsel of wise men; basically you are who you surround yourself with. Solomon tells David "Only a fool refuses the counsel of wise men..." "Fine a wise man, a person who has accomplished what you wish for in your own life, and listen closely to his words."

King Solomon also shows David (by holding a curtain open for him versus the other way around) that "When a king begins to act like a king, is not long before someone else is king! Serving is a way we can place value on one another. A wise man is a server." I get this concept, but I'm not sure what it has to do with seeking wisdom.

Both Harry Truman and King Solomon stress that they can't tell David what to do next and that they wouldn't even if they could... still waiting for that to come to some sort of point...? You are supposed to seek counsel of wise men but they can't give you advice on how to proceed? Egh, then again maybe I'm too logical for my own good.

I'll definitely be keeping this book. Since it is so short I expected to read it than return it. But I'm presently surprised by the depth of this book... lots to think about, obviously!

~~~~~

I gotta run, hittin the 30% off sale (for military) at Old Navy with my sis in a few!

Also, check out my new list (to the left) of things to accomplish before Kevin's homecoming! =) Gotta keep busy these last few weeks are DRAGGIN!!!

Block Leave

I hubs will be home SOOOO soon! less than 3 weeks and I can't wait. I remember hearing my sister say that the end (these last weeks and month) were the hardest and I couldn't for the life of me understand why... how could that be? I mean you (and us) have just survived the entire last 10 or 11 months so how could a few weeks be hard? PSssHH! I turn my nose up at a few weeks! Anyway, it is... I'm here to tell you it SUCKS!

With that being said we will now be out of town for 2 weeks during block leave! First we'll be visiting family in Oregon. We will be spending our *2nd* anniversary here:

The lovely and serene Salishan, OR is hands down the most relaxing and amazing place I've ever been! Kevin and I are very excited to able to spend time both here and with family while in Oregon.

After our week in OR we're off to Vegas! Kevin and I have never had a vacation that wasn't going to see family so we're STOKED to spend 4 days in Vegas. I've never been and I'm itching to try craps... we're on a budget but I am just very drawn to this game. It looks interesting. I just have to have someone teach me.

SOO, excited for my hubby to come home and for our vacations!!!! =)

Vocabulary of a 3 year old

GQ WHAT?

So this lil' stud as many of you already know is my nephew Nathan. He is 2, but about to be 3 the end of September. Well his Daddy just deployed to Afghanistan and his Uncle Kevin has been in Iraq for almost a year. I never imagined in all my life that "Afghanistan" and "Iraq" would be in the vocabulary of a 2 or a 3 year old! It's kind of disgusting how our world has changed... all the same I'm pretty impressed that he understands and remembers and can tell anyone who asks that "Uncle Kevin is in Iraq." and "Daddy is in Aghanistan"!! I love this kid!

~~~~

PS: I'm super excited that I now have 50 followers! :) WOOO hoo! Thanks for showin' the love people. In the beginning and honestly still writing on this blog wasn't about how many people read it... it's theraputic for me and an outlet. Some people call this "blind support" and I suppose it is but maybe we all need a bit more blind support and we'd all be a bit happier/better off. =)

PS:

I wanted to let the people know that my knee feels much better now! I took every one's advice: rested, ice and motrin! :) I forgot that in all of my other dramas.

Blister & Baby Drama!!!

So, THIS is our backyard, currently, after 3 hours of hoeing going on!!! You see the back 1/3 of the yard? I did a great job. But my back hurts, and now I have this huge blister on my thumb and poor Brody is confused. He doesn't know what to do with that portion of the yard. Oh, and in better news it just rained so now it's mud, swell. Oh well the joys of being a home owner right? I'll have to hit Lowes/Home Depot something of that nature for leveling sand. when it is all said and done Kevin and I are going to be putting down paving stones, here are some examples. But we're on a budget so it's one thing at a time. So far it's just an $8 hoe, blisters, and a few hours of back-breaking work. (Literally, my back is killing me!)

I suppose you have to understand how our backyard got to this point. When we moved in all of the houses in our subdevelopment had mulch- that's it. It's cheap and low maintenance which is why the builder threw it back there. It makes sense. However, the dog eating it... and draggin it in my house drove me absolutely crazy! And it made the o-so-pleasant-chore of picking up dog poop even easier, don't cha know! {sarcasm} So we 86'd the mulch and put down sod. This looked fantastic! But the fact that the short-sighted builder didn't put a water spicket in the backyard and only in the garage made watering very DIFFICULT!! We had to run the hose all the way through the house a few times a day! So I stopped and the sod died. And Vwaa~LA here we are at our current yard status! Also, why it needs to be rectified! Hence the Blister! =(

~~~~~

As you know my sister is expecting and her husband left for Afghanistan about a month and a half ago. Well yesterday afternoon Nathan fell accidentally, on her stomach and she was having some really bad cramping. We rushed to her IVF doctor's office for an ultrasound just to make sure everything was ok. We saw the heartbeat from the baby in the uterus. Then the RN (with other 20 years experience) started looking around just to make sure everything else was ok. She questioned my sister on my name, then asks if I can watch my nephew overnight because my sister needs to go to the hospital ASAP and would probably need emergency surgery. Say WHAT?! So the RN leaves the room to contact their on-call doc.. comes back about 10 minutes later with a note and tells us to go to the ER on post. We rush around, drop Nathan off at my mother's and head to the hospital. Honestly we all bitch-whine-and-complain about TriCare and the medical but last night my sis received EXCELLENT care! We spent a whopping 5 hours in the ER. Just about an entire hour was spent in the Radiology department getting an ultrasound... SEARCHING and searching some more for this tubal-pregnancy, that wasn't there! Thank goodness!

We had a follow-up walk-in appointment at Evans (the hospital on post) with OB this morning. Thankfully, we sat there for an hour waiting to be seen and the doctor again said that there was no indication of a tubal pregnancy. The pain she was experiencing was most than likely caused by a pulled muscle in her abdomen and a cyst. Thankfully, her baby is doing great!! Hopefully going forward she'll have a stress-free pregnancy and no more false alarms caused by her IVF doctor's office!

Ouch!

Ok, so maybe 9 out of 10 of you being runners will be helpful at this point. I think I injured my knee at the gym yesterday. I was doing calf raises. I know that as a rule of thumb you are not to lock your knees during this exercise (it's BAD, BAD, bad to force your knees to bear all of the weight). But I have never been able to do these calf-raises without locking my knees. All the same... my right knee HURTS!!! I looked it up on WebMD and based on the picture it looks like my meniscus..? =( the pain is just under my knee cap. There is no swelling or bruising- nothing like that. It just hurts to put weight on it or to stretch it. So I've been icing, keeping it elevated and trying not to gimp around since yesterday afternoon. Since there is no visible inflammation I've been skipping the vitamin M (800 mg Motrin). My plan currently is to keep up with the ice and resting it until tomorrow, then if it's still hurting go to the doc.

I'm curious runners, what do you know about knee injuries? Should I be concerned? Is there something other than ice I should be doing?

Continued....

Plus HE is EXTRA pretty too:

Major TV Networks HATE Me. =(

It seems that shows I adore always get canceled! WHY oh WHY? Evidently 'people' and I don't have the same tastes in (some) TV shows... Some of my favorites have been canceled! Here are the recent casualties:

NBC Canceled Kings!! I have a healthy obsession with monarchies and all things royal, which is why I was drawn to this show in the beginning. It was rather to clear to see where the show was headed, none-the-less I was invested and was hoping to see it unfold for myself.

(Plus he's EXTRA pretty...)

~~~~~

Samantha Who? Was another show I loved. It was hilarious and refreshing. Unfortunately ABC wouldn't just leave it in one time-slot! They had to be short-sighted (amongst other things) and move it around and it couldn't find/keep an audience! Well, other than me!

(Plus the title character and I share a name) teehee

~~~~~

Today I found a dress at Old Navy that I'm going to go back on the 30th and get for Kevin's homecoming! =) I am not really a dress kinda gal but this occasion seems worthy! PS: In just the last 2-3 months they have instated a Military Discount over at lovely Old Navy. The sales associate told me that on the "first few days of each month" a 10% discount is offered to military (active and dependents). BUT the 30th of this month they are offering a 30% discount! So, I said "put this on hold for me and I'll be back to save some pennies on the 30th!" :)

~~~~~

Other than that I just had to say the broad who hosted the "housewares party" on Army Wives tonight had to be the most awkward individual I'd ever seen! L.O.L.

I Believe...

*1* I Believe... in being gracious. People, I think that you should be kind to others and you shouldn't be hurtful or mean to people just because you have the opportunity to be. Rise above the nonsense and be better than your counterparts even when you don't want to.

*2* I Believe... that love isn't boastful; I feel that when people have to run around flashing what they have and talking about their happiness incessantly that they aren't truly satisfied in their relationship. You know the types of people I'm talking about. How completely over-the-top they are. I don't know about you but it doesn't ring true to me. Seems like they are trying to convince themselves they haven't settled or to stay in their current relationship.

*3* I Believe... in family and tradition. People will always come and go from our lives but what I've learned is that family will always be with you. You are born into a family but over the course of your life, you will welcome people to your family; friends, children, wives or/and husbands. These people are precious and you should never take them for granted.

Some of my fondest memories are traditions created with family; Christmases and tree decorating, listening to carols, ect. Big family dinners (when I was 4/5) at Gramma's in NJ... Odd, but most of our traditions are centered around meals/food. Hey, we're Italian- it's what we do! Thankfully, Kevin and I have talked about traditions and have even begun a few of our own: Picnics in the living room and The Nutcracker. I am excited to continue traditions of the family I was born into with the family I've began creating for myself.

*4* I Believe... That you should never make someone a priority when they only make you an option. Enough said.

*5* I Believe... In my husband, his duty, his career as a soldier and the Army. All of us bloggers tend to post about the negatives, the downfalls of this lifestyle. I know that it's difficult to have faith in the Army when it takes people that we love away for a year at a time, when TriCare fails us or when we've been PCSed to the biggest shit-hole imaginable... but it's important to remain faithful. I have to believe that the Army and thusly my husband are working toward something bigger than myself... something I cannot understand; something just completely OVER my head and that at the end of the day everything will work out for the best. I trust in my husbands training and abilities, also that his will to return home to me and our future is unyielding.

Wedding Day Pictures

Ok, so when Kevin and I got married I didn't think it was necessary to have a professional photographer there; my sister didn't have one and got some great pictures, and we didn't have the money for it. Click here for a post allll about my wedding. You can see that we had a great and unique wedding. I loved (and still do love) our day!

Today I have been unmotivated to do anything productive, at all. With the exception of reading numerous new blogs. A lot of which are centered around weddings, or at least the wedding was (definitely) an important event with details, pictures and plans having been posted about. I've noticed that having pictures taken away from the wedding location either before or after the ceremony is quite common. Granted Kevin and I have been married going on 2 years, this September... but is it completely ridiculous to have some photos taken of him and I now? I know the hair (for both of us) will be different, as would the location but is it unreasonable to want some great, beautiful pictures of us in that way? I've read that people have had many of these photo shoots days before or after their ceremonies so I wouldn't be the only one to have photos where the bride and groom appear different from the actual day of the ceremony.

What are your thoughts?

Damn You Target!

I was in the ginormous Target farthest from my house about a month or two ago and saw this lil' beauty:

This is the most perfect organizer for under the bathroom sink; brushes and such up top and hair sprays and other bottles (products) underneath. Yes, it's tall enough for that and both drawers slide in and out. PERFECT! Why didn't I just jump on the damn thing when I had the chance, you ask? Well I was being cheap. I journeyed all the way up to this far-away Target and get this they are on sale! Great, right? NO! They may be on sale but they are out of stock in every location in the greater Colo Springs area!! Of course... booo! I just found it online but it's not on sale on line. :( What else is new... Shopping is the pits sometimes!!

My First Award

I am so excited that someone tagged me for my first award!! For this aware I have to list seven things about myself that you didn't know, so here goes:

1) I curse like a sailor. Not much to explain there; it is what it is.

2) I HATE pickles! Honestly you couldn't pay me enough to eat one... I just couldn't handle it.

3) I'm like a burnt marshmallow: Hard and crispy on the outside but a big mess of mooshiness on the inside.

4) Since finishing the Twilight series I've been miserably bored at night. I'm considering re-reading them. But then I stop myself because I don't have the first one (although I did barrow it from someone, so I have read it) and also because I think Kevin would enjoy them so I want to wait and read them together when he gets back. On the other hand I finished the last three (which I do have) in a month's time, maybe I could do it again this time.... See it's ridiculous.

5) I'm paranoid to the point of obsession. I think paranoia is at the heart of all my irrational fears; tornadoes- I mean really, the thought of something coming from the sky and erasing everything it flies across completely weirds me out. There isn't any hiding from it. Next, I have a real fear of Armageddon. The whole 12/12/2012 business with the Mayan calendar really a sore subject for me. It's things like this that keep me up at night. I get an idea into my head and it kind of rules my life for a few days until I manage to logically mislead my own thoughts. It's a wicked mess...

6) Going back to #5, I'm highly and personally offended that they made a movie about 12.12.2012. I don't know the name of it but I saw the preview at Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. John Cusack plays in it...

7) I often disguise my emotions with anger. When I'm sad or just miserable about anything I show my distress by becoming hostile, irritable, grouchy or just altogether unpleasant. I pick stupid fights with people and I'm usually pretty abrupt. It isn't fair and I try to be more forthcoming with my true emotions but it is extremely difficult for me to do. (I think this kind of relates back to #3)I realize that this isn't fair to the people around me and ever sense I figured out that I do, do this I have made an effort to be better... it hasn't been a very good one though. :( I will however be better going forward.

Now I'm supposed to tag some other bloggers. Erin, who tagged me didn't say how many she just did 3, so we'll see what I come up with:

I'll have to first start by saying I remember Jen- Crazy Shenanigans, Becca- Mrs. GI Joe and Lola- Not all those who wonder are lost, getting tagged a few months back so I gotta pass on you ladies but PLEASE believe if this award had different requirements than (from a few months ago) you would definitely be on the top of my list!!! Mean it, sincerely.

I gotta show my hubby and my sis some love. Also, Lauren (Not just another Pregnant Army wife) and Megan (The Not So Normal Life of an Army Wife).

Ok so those are my picks and that's some crap I don't think you knew about me...

I have one question for everyone (because I know a lot of you have done this). How on earth do you do the "strike through" text? When I am posting a blog it isn't an option on my font drop down. Someone on someone please teach me... I have been racking my brain and fiddling with this damn thing for weeks now and I cannot figure this out for the life of me! Please, and THANK YOU!

Dear "Qwest":

"I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes! Love, Sam S."

Yeah, that's right I gangked this line from The Little Rascals (a movie the hubs and I equally adore)! Well, my internet has been screwed up, a.k.a. SLLOOOOOWW for days now and then this morning it completely crapped out; decided it hated me and was not longer going to work. <~ that was me being overly dramatic. I couldn't log on until about 200 PM. Big whoop, right? HA HA All's well that ends well!

Well here's a lil' update from the interview I had on Monday: I suck... I am still unemployed... No one wants me... (evidently I wasn't finished being overly dramatic- haha). Seriously, Cindy (whom I interviewed with) was nice enough to call and tell me that she "enjoyed interviewing with me but that they were hiring someone else" because I suck at life. :) Notice, how the last part was out of the quotes, as she never said it. Well, I still have the "as needed/on-call" type stuff going on with a school district around here and that should start picking up soon, because classes being the first week of August. That, combined with the help I give my Pops (for his real estate business) should give us what we need to get by. It would have just been nice to have something more set in stone, more reliable every month... which is why I haven't taken a commissioned-based job, but I'm sure we'll work it out.

Other than that Kevin and I have been speaking quite a bit this week. He's super home sick (which I don't get because I'm still at home- obviously), and I think growing more nervous because things have been heating up there lately. So far all the conversating hasn't created an issue; we've been getting along VERY well lately! We've mainly been discussing Homecoming plans. I'm just excited to have him in the same house as me.... Sitting on the couch, taking the garbage out (yes, babe, there will be chores ha ha), watching movies/TV, Not eating or sleeping or shopping or driving alone... where as he's wanting to go here and go there and see them and do this and it all just sounds like TOO much excitement for my pretty-low key person to be dealing with. We're still going to Vegas in September and we're tossing around the idea of going to the Ball, in Sept also. I would love to go and have the experience but I just think right now, financially we can do other things with our money. Such as, buy the camera, I've been living without... I mean really it's 2009, I think we're the only people on the planet without a digital camera! So, the Ball is still on the fence- we'll see.... We've also, recently pondered the idea of going to Portland to visit his family AND decided against it. Yes, we talked about it briefly, but when we realized that it'd mean boarding Brody for 2 full weeks we knew it would be out of our budget. =( Earlier this week Kevin's Dad told him that he may not be able to make it to the Homecoming... We were very disappointed to hear this. But we also understand that times are hard everywhere and everyone has their own lives to tend to and maintain. Especially, my FIL , as he is a business owner. So, it makes sense just sad at the same time. We'll have a great homecoming though, that's for sure!!!
I'm wondering, though, do any of you have some really interesting or unique homecoming ideas or stories? I want to make it special for Kevin, but lord help me if I wasn't blessed with a whole lot of creativity!

I gotta roll... I'm gonna hit Target see if they have something I've been looking all over God's green earth for! But I will be blogging again this evening... I got TAGGED for my very first award by Erin at Deployment Woes so I'll have to pay it forward (if you will) later on. <3 tootles.

Another thing, he said!!

So I forgot to add this to my last post:

"Babe, only 3 more Tuesdays til I'm home."

Awwww.. I heard it you all said it... Collectively! I know its true! Tee hee. Its great to think of the homecoming in those terms! Its funny because I was at WallyWorld the other day (possibly even last week..) with my sis and I asked her if I should start getting some of Kevin's things; deodorant, toothpaste, soda, snacks ect. My practical and logical side took over and I decided to wait. I'll definitely be back to good ol' Wally World at least a dozen times before he gets back... =)
Kevin's funny though... He agreed to hold off seeing the new Harry Potter until he gets home. You see, I had never read the books or watched any of the movies before I had met him. Kevin on the other hand listened to all of the books on tape and had seen all the movies. So we watched them all together he helped me fill in the blanks and understand the STRANGE names! Well, he's having a hell of a time waiting to see it! But toooo bad this time you don't have too long to wait (unlike with The Pink Panther) so you and I will both have to wait! =)
Movie watching is something that I am really looking forward to! There are quite a few movies on the list, that we'll have to watch together. And somehow it keeps growing and growing by the day:
Twilight
Harry Potter (duh- obviously)
I Love You, Man
Funny People

Transformers

Marley and Me

The Ugly Truth

Angels and Demons

Fast & Furious

::funny thing, I come to list the movies and they jump ship (out of my mind), evil bastards! I know there are so many more, grrr!::
There is half a TiVo full of TV to watch: a season of house, 1 and half seasons of Burn Notice, Raising the Bar and Royal Pains.

Oh- and it is official (like a referee whistle) I'm unhirable! This job searching business is a tireless chore. I'm over it. Maybe we'll just win the lotto instead... Stupid-ME why didn't I think of this first?!? DUH..

Excitement

Okie dokie, so after my long emotional weekend I realized that living well is the best revenge and that I hadn't even spent that much time on Kaitlyn so I lost very little in all reality! =) On to the living well:

The Call: Just a few minutes ago I received a call from the FRG (PS: I gave up my title as POC) letting me know that we're going to have our next meeting on August 8th. Actually, this isn't just our next meeting but our LAST before the guys get home! =) Woooo hoo. We'll be making some welcome home signs and putting together packages/"survival kits" for our returning single joes.

I am so excited for Kevin's homecoming. I know that I've blogged about all of our hard times and how nervous I am about his return... but at this point I am just excited! I can't wait for him to just be here and sit next to me on the couch, play with the dog, helping with the dishes or other chores. I am looking most forward to the general loneliness that has made itself all too comfortable in my life going away. PEACE OUT... =)

The Interview: My new buddy, Lauren gave me a heads up that her job was hiring last week so I faxed over my resume and was called for an interview. I went this morning and thankfully this was a great and very easy interview. The only real question that she actually asked was what were my 3 strengths and weaknesses. I think it went well and that she liked me. She did tell me that I was 1 of 4 and that she wants someone in the position ASAP. So we should know very soon. =)

I'm ready for a nap... I should go to the gym but I think I'll balance our checkbook and then go for some groceries.

Strange, Sad turn of events...

Refer to previous post about my last two days with Miss Kaitlyn... I don't feel like doing much re-capping.

So here we are just a short 22 hours later and by some convoluted turn of events Kaitlyn is no longer my friend. =( Nothing like that to make you feel like shit huh? She told me that we are too different, that she has never had to work so hard at a friendship before and that our friendship isn't one that is built to last. Huh... again nothing like someone telling you that you don't matter enough to look passed your differences and some misunderstandings, right? Basically... I suck at life and am not worthy of friendship. Swell- it's lovely to be me. Sucks, because I still have the balloons and card that I bought for her birthday.

All that this really means for you is that there wont be any pictures from my last two days of concerts. =( I'm sorry.

Concerts

Wednesday:

Was kind of a cluster (you know what). Originally my mother bought 4 tickets to the Keith Urban/Sugarland concert; 1 for her, 1 for me, 1 for my sister, and the last for my Aunt. Well, my Aunt decided she didn't want to go and up until Tuesday my sister was going. Sadly, Nathan was getting sick and being a real grouch, so she decided to pass and I invited Kaitlyn. She had told me how jealous she was that I was getting to go to this concert. So, it wound up being me, my momma, Kaitlyn and Cindy (my mom's hair dresser). We left really early for a 730 show, but after we hit some traffic got some dinner and found our seats we had about 30 minutes to kill... not too bad. Sugarland opened up, but I think they had a longer set than most opening acts. They were so good and Jennifer was so entertaining and funny- aside from her singing talent. But I didn't get any pictures of her. In fact if you all remember Brody ate my camera so I'm still camera-less. I did get a few pictures of Keith Urban on my Blackberry... like a complete a-hole I forgot I had the damn thing during Sugarland. =(

Keith Urban on the other hand... while he is pretty to look at, he wasn't so great- honestly it was very disappointing. I knew only 2 of his songs and one of them was as we were walking out. We didn't stay the entire time. That also had to do with the drunken broads next to me who were screaming nonsense (not regular concert singing- more along the lines of belligerent-drunken-ness), dancing and bumping into EVERYONE around them, CONSTANTLY coming and going because they had to pee; Beer often has that effect on people. DUH.

Thursday:

Another journey back to Denver. This time it was the Fillmore Auditorium versus the Pepsi Center and for 3 Doors Down and Miss Kaitlyn's birthday!! =) Actually, Wednesday was Kaitlyn and her husband's wedding anniversary. We had a very busy two days... ha ha. Well we stopped for yummy dinner at Chili's, where I thankfully got my second wind! Then made our way downtown to the Fillmore, found parking and ventured inside. Three doors down was sooooo good! They completely rocked and we had a great time. The only downer was that the concert was general admission so there was lots of heat, bumping into other peeps, and well the fact that it was a rock concert means there was pot smoking. Ugh! Just before 3Doors Down came on this tall-ass mo.fo. and his female friend elbowed their way right in front of me! GRRR... he was easily 6'5", yeah, I'm all of 5'4 3/4" can't forget the 3/4's people that's VERY important! The band takes the stage and I catch a whiff of the pot... GREEEAT right? Well I look over and the Ginormous man was smoking on his pot. What an ass! but thankfully he left soon.

Now to the good part: at one point everyone about two feet away was on the floor with their cell phone pointing toward the floor, obviously looking for something... I lean over to the very nice blond lady who filled in after the tall-pot-smoking man left and ask her what's going on. She said that they were all looking for a guitar pick and just then the stage lights came up and I look over to see the pick on the ground! I reached down and grabbed it in a very nonchalant fashion and stuck that lil' treasure right in my bra! That's right... it's the safest place I could think of! ha ha

If you aren't familiar they sing "Citizen Soldier" and "Here Without You"... they made big shout outs to the military and we went all buck-wild crazy. Its always really nice when the people who fight and their amazing families get some recognition. =)So Kaitlyn and I had a fantastic time at 3 Doors Down for her Birthday- a big thanks to her hubby for buying the tickets.

Sorry for the lack of pictures people. But they are coming soon. Kaitlyn will be emailing me hers soon and then I'll get them up!

OH the drama...

Dear Anonymous:

First, don't harass my followers on my blog. I would prefer you not harass them at all but really if you have something to say to Crazy Shenanigans that address her personally. My blog is not an outlet for you to spout your nastiness.

Second, this is my blog and it's a place for me to discuss whatever the hell that I want. If I happen to tell the world about how fast paint (actually) does dry than that's my choice. Funny how I have almost 50 followers with how boring and pathetic my life is.

Third, I ask you again: Introduce yourself. It's rather cowardly to hide.

Fourth, I'm not sure why you were so passive if your initial comment or why you're surprised that it inspired the reaction it did in others. We're all allowed to disagree... but really if you don't have anything constructive to say, just keep your mouth shut.

Finally, please keep the nonsense and drama in your local high school, where it belongs. Thankfully, my life has progressed passed these types if immature games. I am a grown up and if you can't at least pretend to be and come to my blog to be supportive than just stay away.

Sincerely,

Samantha

PS: As always, opposing view points are welcomed but please be respectful of others. Also, my blog is basically a very public diary about the happenings of my life. If you don't like it or don't find it amusing or entertaining enough than no one is forcing you to come back and read it. I enjoy blogging and sharing news that has baring on my life (hence the "Smoking Ban" post)... but again, if you aren't interested just keep going. Don't stop to say something nasty and keep going. No "Hit n Runs" please.

~~~~~

Drama-oh-drama... please go away. I truly have bigger fish to fry and prefer to concentrate on the better and happier things in my life. Such as: the return of my husband, approximately ONE month from today my hubs will be home!!

Tomorrow I will post with pictures and updates from the concerts. =) until then, I hope you're all having fantastic weeks.

Dear Anonymous

Recently some random person posted the following comment in response to my post about the possibility that the Pentagon would enforce a smoking ban on the military:

Anonymous said...
A friend of mine started smoking in the Marines because you couldn't ever take a break unless it was a smoke break. He's dead of lung cancer now at an early age.
If the military could literally force people to smoke, it ought to be able to ban smoking.

I'm confused... Who are you? Introduce yourself please. Secondly I doubt the Marines (or the military in general) forced anyone to smoke. We all have free will. If your friend chose to smoke in order to receive additional breaks that is still a choice that they made, sadly.

~~~~~

In other news... I'm sun burnt on the tip of my nose- like a friggin' Rudolph! HAhaahaHa! And got a hair cut today. Tomorrow: I'm getting a free initial visit with a local Chiropractor... that should be fun. "They" say it's good for you. So we'll give it a whirl. Then tomorrow night I'm going to see Sugarland and Keith Urban concert in Denver, at the Pepsi Center. This should be good times. =) THEN on Thursday I'm going to see 3 Doors Down with Kaitlyn in Denver at Fiddlers Green... WOOOO HOO I miss Denver.

PS: I miss my hubby too. With all of these trips to Denver coming up I'm missing my hubby!! We had some great times there. Maybe we could swing something when he gets back. =) It's close but will also be good times... I miss you husband!

BECCA (Mrs. GI Joe), please don't hate me. I've attempted SOOoo many times to leave comments on your blog but the damn thing wont let me! It never shows the text box for the word key thingy... I just wanted you to know that I still read your blog and do care! ;) Keep up the running!

Don't Judge Me

I love when people judge me. Guess what? I wasn't put on this planet for you to question and judge what I do or don't do to your standards. Especially when you haven't been where I am and you make no effort to support me. Nevermind calling to check on me or hear my side. It really chaps my ass when people pass judgement on me for any reason.

So here's the deal: We are 10 months and 10 days into a deployment. A deployment that has been anything less than customary... in terms of what a "standard" deployment usually is. I have eluded to some of the issues that Kevin and I have experienced throughout the course our time apart but I haven't spelled out the details because, just as I wasn't placed on this planet for others to judge, I also wasn't placed here to hurt my hubby. But thankfully I think that we have recently turned a corner and the remainder (approx 35-39 days) of the deployment will be much smoother sailing.

Our main issue has been my independence and the expectations I've had of what our deployment should have been. I am not a person who needs a lot of reassurance to know that things are ok. Kevin is not the same way as me in this aspect. In plain English: he's called me a lot. At times it has been out of hand. When Kevin left I wanted to hear from him all the time to know that he was ok. Once we got into the groove of what this deployment was going to be like things shifted. Kevin wasn't constantly out on missions or in highly dangerous regions. Because there weren't many missions being conducted there wasn't a lot of work for Kevin and his fellow mechanics to be doing... repairs weren't required as often as you would think when vehicles weren't being used for constant missions. Which created a lot of free time for my husband. The phone calls came more and more often. At first this didn't bother me. Then Kevin got internet in his "room" so we were constantly chatting online and over webcam. Out of my own sense of obligation and support for Kevin I felt like I had to sit there all day infront of the cam and provide him the reassurance that he required. This became a chore. This is no way to live. Yes, our husband's leave and unfortunately they aren't just gone for a long weekend or a cozy vacation somewhere both warm and comfortable. No- conversely they are in the scorching heat, on cots, carrying more weight on their backs (figuratively and literally) than I could personally handle, without any creature comforts of home and all the while yearning for the some ounce of normalcy from home. While on the home front, life MUST go on. That doesn't happen when you're sitting on the couch all day, constantly being questioned about "where'd you go"... well you see what had happened was.. "I went to pee" "I had to let the dog out" "I needed a drink". Let me just say before you assume that my husband is some controlling bastard he was purely curious. Well all of this snowballed into serious frustration, resentment and attitude on my part. Also and Kevin has admitted that his calls and time spent on the internet had gotten a little over the top. After arguments and beating myself up over (actually) NOT wanting my husband to call me so much... I finally spit it out "I need you to back off. No one is good to anyone else, unless they are taking care of themselves first and I haven't been able to do that.. I need you to not call me so often anymore." YES- I did actually say this out loud to my husband. Because guess what? He's not the only one going through and emotionally dealing with a deployment right now. It directly effects the way I lead my day to day life... and leading this life is exponentially more difficult to get through when answering the phone is no longer exciting, but now a hassle and a chore. Honestly, it got to the point where I felt I couldn't leave the house so that I could be available for his (constant) calls.

So let me add this up for everyone: Kevin=slightly needy(I love you babe) and calling constantly! Sam=extremely independent; not needy; with expectations of rarely hearing from my husband and thus completely blindsided by all of the opportunity. KEVIN+SAM=BAD BUSINESS under these circumstances. As I said, though, we have turned a corner and are facing only better days.

I still do not appreciate those who have not been in my shoes and who cannot fathom what I've been through judging my choice to ask that my husband not call me as much as he had; to dial it back from "needy little bitch" (loving term between the two of us, ha haaha) to something more manageable which would still allow for me to maintain some sense of normalcy. To those who currently pass judgement: You don't know me. You don't have the faintest clue what I've been through. So I'd prefer you shut your mouth, at least until you've been where I am or have at the very least heard me out and attempted to understand. Shame on you, for denying me any say in what works for my marriage under unimaginable circumstances. May I also add, bite me. (:

~~~~~

Please check out Deployment Woes. I just found this Marine wife's blog and absolutely love it. She actually inspired me to write this post and showed me that my feelings aren't wrong and while we may be on slightly different pages and in different stages of our own deployments portions of this post were RIGHT ON. I felt like she was writing on my behalf instead of her own experiences. Odd. All the same, please go check her out.

Smoking Ban

Recently my friend Jen over at Crazy Shenanigans posted a blog about her soldier's smoking habit and her distaste for this yucky habit. Check it out, here. My soldier and hubby, Kevin has smoked since I met him. While this hasn't been one of my favorite things about him, it was part of who he is/was so I accepted it. The entire time we were dating it just wasn't an issue for me, he always smoked outside and always held his smoking hand out of the window when he would smoke in the car. Well something just seemed to change (like the flip of a switch) within my own person once Kevin and I got married. Suddenly his smoking habit really bugged me. The closet stunk from his dirty clothes, which meant my clothes now smelled like smoke too.. it was suddenly (and very dramatically- on my part) hard to breathe in the car... this list of why his smoking bugged me goes on and on and on. But at the end of the day it just came down to the fact that smoking causes disease and kills folks. It's fact. Bottom line: I didn't want to watch my husband die, slowly, painfully and before his time. Not something on the TOP of my list of "things to do before I die". So I did talk to Kevin about quitting and why it was important to me. I knew from other experiences that it wouldn't get me anywhere to pressure him and force him to quit for me... and really I tried very hard to not do this. We went down the road of him "quitting" many times and unsuccessfully. Each time he would start up again I would tell him he better not be doing it just for me because we'd done that before and I didn't want to be jerked around again... I told him if he was going to quit he needed to do it for himself and not for me. ALL the same currently my hubby is smoke free and managed to accomplish this in the middle of the desert on his 3rd deployment.

After a study was performed, the Pentagon is considering enforcing a complete smoking ban on the military, including stopping the sale of tobacco products on post. Hmmm.. personally I think this is ridiculous. On the other hand, most things are controlled by the military if you are active duty so is it really a stretch to ban smoking? I mean they can stop your pay and enforce (even) longer more extended hours and disguise it at reprimand. My initial reaction is that it would be completely unconstitutional. Our soldiers fight for our freedoms (in theory)... whether I like smoking or agree with it, it's not really up to me (or the Pentagon) to decide that others (or our military) are not permitted to make the choice for themselves. For those of you that has spent time around the military smoking is apart of the culture, you know it's just kind of what they do. Taking that away, I think, would lower moral and only increase disdain on the part of our military. I'm thinking enforcing just one more life-altering term of service would further decrease enlistment numbers. Well no one asked me so I doubt "they'll" care. But please check out the full story here.

What?? Why??

Okay, so yesterday I sent out a mass text to some of my homies that have known my sister and are intrigued about the happenings of her life as well as mine- to let them know that she was having another baby. While everyone did offer their congratulations to my sister and to me for becoming an "Auntie" again. I also had quite a few people asking when I was going to be making my sister an "Auntie"...?

FIRST: I am the one and only "AUNTIE"... :-p umm currently and I'm not keen on sharing that anytime soon. But, Sis, we can discuss your title whenever I should happen to jump on the bandwagon.

SECOND: Why... I truly do not understand why just because my sister is having her children now that means that I have to have mine now. While I have tossed around the idea of having babies sooner rather than later this is my discussion to make with my husband. Why am I feeling the pressure to procreate from people based on the fact that my sister is? Don't get me wrong I'm not mad at anyone but I just don't understand why people would automatically assume that I am going to have kids now or soon because my sister is.... maybe I'm the one who's screwed it up (in some way). Maybe I'm just supposed to do it because all the cool kids are? ugh... just leave me alone people. Be happy for my sis but that doesn't have anything to do with my timetable for procreating!

THIRD: *a lil' change in subject* Why do some women complete swap out their wedding rings? I understand changing the setting a little bit, but I mean why replace it completely? Doesn't that lose some meaning or at least the sentiment that goes along with the original? I know that we are not always in the position to buy our dream rings when we get married... but THAT ring it's a symbol of more than your budget... Be proud of what you have and appreciate (more than) it's (monetary) value.

(...my ring (:..)

What I'm doing

WOOO HOOOOOO...

My sister got the results of her pregnancy test today and she is happily expecting!!! We should know next week if she is having multiples... Fingers crossed for ONE happy healthy baby people! Congrats sis!

So the cruise got "blown out of the water" so to speak. It just turned out to be wayyy to far out of our budget so we scratched that idea. I did however book something more affordable for us.

We will be staying at the Circus Circus hotel in the one and only, world-famous Las Vegas, Nevada for 4 and a half days! I am excited. We will still be on somewhat of a budget but I know that we'll still have a great time! I couldn't be happier... The biggest plus is that we can make this happen on our own without help from anyone else and that this will be the first trip that Kevin and I have taken together, that hasn't been to visit family! Watch out Vegas.

Ok, aside from that... I have been in a foul mood since last night. Depressed. Down on myself. Unfortunately that is presenting itself in the form of bitchiness. My mood also only magnified issues that Kevin and I have been having... none of this is fair to him or me, for that matter. But we're here right? So lets suck it up and drive on. I wish I could get more into this... but I can't right now. All there really is left to say is, "I'm sorry."

Hi

I'm still here, readers. Unfortunately I'm in a pretty piss-poor mood though. I really don't like to spread the wealth when it comes to my bad moods- hense my recent silence. Well I'm here. I'm alive. Just wanted you all to know. Here's some randomness to fill the time and space until I feel more up to posting:

ABC's OF ME:

(curtesy of Lauren)

A-Age: 24
B-Birth date: May 1st, 1985
C-Chore you hate: Empting the diswasher- I dispies the thing- never use it.
D-Dog's name: Brody
E-Enter or Exit: Enter
F-Favorite color: Changes by the day, moment.. I'll go with "green" now though.
G-Gold or silver: Silver
H-Hair color: Brownish-red
I-Instrument: Tuba
J-Job Title: ~> <~ yea, that sums it up.
K-Kids: 0
L-Living arrangements: (1) Two Bdrm, Two-and-a-half bath Town home, with almost 2-year-old Golden Retriever, (1) wife, and (1) semi-absent husband.
M-Monkey or Moose: Moose
N-Nicknames: Sam, Sammy...
O-Odd thing about you: I'm super paranoid. It's unsettling.
P-Pet Peeve: Repeating myself.
Q-Quote from a movie: "No one cares." "You're only allowed three great women in your lifetime. They come along like the great fighters, every ten years. Rocky Marciano, Sugar Ray Robinson, Joe Louis. Sometimes you get'em all at once. Me? I had my three when i was 16. That happens." "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent." -A Bronx Tale.
R-Right/Left Handed: Right
S-Siblings: (1) sister: Katie Jo
T-Time you wake up? 8AM, give or take 10-15 minutes.
U-Underwear: yes.
V-Veggie you dislike: Green Beans, Broccoli
W-What makes you run late: Traffic
X-X-Rays: Teeth, chest
Y-Yummy food you make: My new specialty is grilled pizza!
Z-Zoo Animal: giraffe

40-some-odd Days Left... maybe? kinda-sorta? give or take

I started the "Homecoming Countdown" a few days ago because Kevin kept giving me the same date over and over again and it was getting closer and closer and closer... (: so I gave into my better judgement and commenced the counting down. Well true to form, right when we get our heart set on a date and start to plan some things the date changes. Thankfully, it didn't change by much just a few days. My hubs should now be home "on or about" 18 August! wooo hoo. give or take a few days, of course. We are, after all dealing with the Army.

I think one more mention of Michael Jackson and I might hurt myself! I went to the gym today and could only manage to stay a whopping 13 minutes then I had to leave... everywhere I looked, on every TV there was coverage of his "funeral" / "viewing" at the Staples Center in LA. I was disgusted by the entire fiasco! It's all so ridiculous. Okay, I give the guy his talent, abilities, and the fact that he did change music in huge ways- mainly the dancing and videos. These are not small accomplishments and should be mentioned. But for goodness sake this full-day coverage is over doing it just a bit, isn't it? The last time we saw something like this was when Reagan died... and then thinking back to Princess Dianna's death it's all very reminiscent. Then to put Michael Jackson in the same category as former President Reagan and Princess Dianna is completely absurd and more than insulting to both of their memories!! He was a musician for Christs sake, and hasn't been a good one at that for 10 years or something? What will we really remember about him? Not what he brought to music and how he managed to change it- well not initially anyway. Rather, he'll be remember for his more than strange behavior; dangling babies, face masks, born black & dying white... he'll be remembered not for being amazing, changing the world, helping others or even being a great leader- Nope, he'll be remembered for being a child molester and complete weirdo. And hell, who better to waste a days full of broadcasting on and forcing me to be completely disappointed and pissed off about missing General Hospital- amongst other things!

The stuff....

~Tired~

I have been exhausted the last week or so. Somehow I can't seem to get to sleep until at the earliest 12:30 AM. On the days I get frustrated and try even harder to sleep it doesn't work out until almost 2. Last night I thought I slept well but I was moving pretty slow all day. Then I crashed about 4. Booo.. hopefully this little stage passes sooner rather than later.

~Vacation... Maybe?~

Last night I was logging onto my email and saw an advertisement for super-cheapo cruises. So like a complete idoit I click on it. "Hmm, I wonder where to?" ... "I wonder how much it would really cost?" ... "hmmm" CLICK CLICK... all the wondering and all the clicking lead me to some pretty great deals! 4, 5 and 7 night Mexico cruises leaving from San Diego or LA hitting places like Catalina Island, Cabo San Lucas and Ensenada. We could basically afford the cruise and it's applicable fees and that is IT. The nice this is that meals are included and from what I understand that is about it. We could hang out by a floating pool and tool around the ship not spending any money, oh and then there is the little matter of getting ourselves over to Southern Cali... We could always walk or hitch hike. Ha hahaaaa Well It was silly of me to get my hopes up as well as Kevins. Maybe we'll go to the Botanical Gardens in Denver, dinner, The Original Pancake House and the Hyatt in Denver (WE LOVE LOVE LOVE THE HYATT). That's what we like to do. :) It isn't a Mexico Cruise but sometimes we have to take what we can get. Right folks? Any of you who are looking for something special to do post-deployment with your soldier really look into cruises!

~Interview~

Today I had an interview for (what I thought was) a secretary position at the elementary school on Post. It went well but the position is on an "as needed" basis and not necessarily as a secretary. The interviewer told me the more available I am in regards to the positions I'll accept (library assistant, preschool, admin) and their different locations around the district the more opportunities for work that I'll have. If I make myself available everywhere around the district in all positions I should get a few calls a week. I have mixed feelings about this. I was dis disappointed that the position wasn't full-time work. But really I think that it's potentially a great opportunity. The interviewer also told me that the more I go to on a specific assignment at a specific location I could build a relationship with the people there and in then the more they request me specifically! (: They gave me I9, W4's and policy forms to fill out and when I complete them I have to schedule a time to drop them off and have my finger prints processed. I guess this is all good right?? I am going to ask around and see what some people may know about this kind of as needed work with this school district. What do you guys think? Bogus? Waste of time??

Tomorrow I'll have to run errands, hit the gym and I have tentative plans to go to the pool on post with my sister and Nathan. I wonder if there's time to do it all? We shall see. Tootle-lou people time to relax!

Clarification.... 40 Days Left

So my Hubby and my Sister told me that yesterday's post made my nephew out to be a lil' heathen child! Well, no no! He is almost 3 and everything that comes a long with that age, bratty ect. But he is also my favorite person on the planet... while he did bite me and it didn't tickle I still love him to pieces!

41 Days...

So today Nathan (my nephew) helped me decide that the whole having kids thing should really be put on the back burner for a little bit... guess what he did? Guess how he added his two cents to this discussion... HE MOTHER EFFIN' BIT ME! Yes, that's right... ugh huh, that lil mother-lover bit me- in my chub (aka my belly). Why would I possibly want to have a lil' person running around, pooping, crying, always needing me to hug, cold, rock, comfort and soothe them when they're just gonna turn around and BITE ME!?? hmm... decision made!!

In all seriousness after receiving some input from others on this issue my wanting to wait has more to do with the financial responsibility that comes with raising children and babies. I have blogged before about the financial stress we are going to be under when Kevin gets home and that is with just the two of us. Add on the costs of formula, diapers, clothes, shoes, toys, crib, bouncer, bibs, blankets, more clothes, more diapers, dresser, changing table, more clothes, more diapers, swing, high chair, teething rings, infant Motrin, infant Tylenol, BOTTLES, more diapers, more clothes and teething rings I'd be willing to wager a bet that we'd be somewhere in the neighborhood of up-side-down, in the hole, credit-ruined, car re-po'ed... basically it would be seriously BAD business. I can agree with those of you who have said that you are never 100% ready for baby... but to intentionally work at having them and bringing them into a tough financial situation is just irresponsible and ridiculously unfair. Right? I know that tough times will come with or without babies/kids but with where we are and what we foresee coming (if I don't find a job before Kevin redeploys) it just isn't right to pursue this now. No matter how much we may want babies now. Right???


Other than the baby-having issue I have an interview for a secretary position at the elementary school on post tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully that works out. If not I do have something else in the works. While far less glamorous I have to take what I can get. Within reason of course, I can't be out on the corner for a few bucks!!

Hope you all had a great weekend and a blessed holiday! (:

Marines, Afghanistan and the 4th of July.

Lets take a look at how the 2nd Marine Expeditionary Brigade, 1st Battalion 5th Marines, spent their 4th of July in Afghanistan today. Check out the story here. I'm not sure about you folks out there but I can speak for myself... I definitely did not spend today carrying 50-100 lbs on my back, for the third day in a row, in 100+ temperatures! Makes me thankful and grateful for my freedoms, and whole-heartedly appreciative for those who unselfishly give themselves to securing our way of life.

Now I'm off to bed... so what it's early? I'm friggin' exhausted!
Nighty Night & Sweet Dreams.

42 Days Left...

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY PEOPLE....

Who's attending or hosting BBQ's?? Anyone baking Apple Pie? That's supposed to be a great American past time, right? Well, American Pie said so, so that has to make it true right?

Today I am irritated! GRrr...
1) I haven't slept for shit the last week!!! WHY O WHY??? I think it's time to start bonding with my BFF, Tylenol PM again! I can't take this crap no more! I'm tired as hell but can't seem to fall into that blissful and favorite place of unconsciousness! =( I miss it... awww... NEXT

2) I was trying to talk to Kevin this morning but it was like a sign from God... When he called from the MWR the connection sucked... you know how that goes when you catch every other syllable. BOO, then I get my not-ready-to-be-awake self up, and out of bed downstairs to webchat with him and what happens?? My internet kept cutting out! Qwest is pissing me off! Booo...

3) I am teetering on this lil' teensy tiny line between going to the gym (because I feel like a big fatty-boom-ba-latty today), thanks to the bender I had with Kaitlynn last night!! But on the other hand I can't seem to keep my eyes open. Seriously throughout the course of writing this blog I think I have started and stopped and started again (bc my eyes have just closed themselves) like 6 times!

So basically the lack of sleep is making me ridiculously bitchy... creating an extremely short fuse! I think that decides it then- BACK TO BED! But.... But... I sorta wanna enjoy the beautiful weather. Booo, this sucks.

niNi.

I miss you...

So after my 2 hour nap late this afternoon, I journeyed down to Kaitlynn's (as if, it were soooo far; all of 15 minutes) for a movie, greasy popcorn, "Party in a box" and the amazing and fantastic combo of Hagen Daaz (hmm, sp?) Coffee ice cream and Heath bar! yummm... We couldn't find any good movies on "On Demand" or Pay-Per view so we settled on "Serendipity". This movie is (of course) super cute, classic chick-flick. Those of you who are not familiar with the "Party in a box", feast your eyes on this lil' beauty:

(I apologize for the crappy picture quality, but I really was not going to spend too much time searching for a better picture. You get the idea.)

I am fairly certain this is the CHEAPEST way to put on a buzz people! Invest it's good times. But please... Please under NO circumstances tell my Granny. She's be highly offended that I was bothering to drink "wine" from a "box"-- of all things. {insert disgusted look, here} I love my granny but hell, I just can't hang with her Chianti. Oiy.. join the new school Granny... Shiraz. Zinfandel. Blushes in general are just easier to drink... but sadly not as hearty as a good Pinot Noir. I digress....

I must force myself to focus on the topic at hand. The title of this blog:
Dear Husband,

God, I miss you. Tonight I miss you so much my heart aches.

Really, people I intended on writing some thing that would tug at the heart strings at the most cynical of all of us... but really that's all I got. I suppose, the only other thing I could honestly add to my "heart aching" is that I am sorry. I'm sorry that for the past year it's been easier (for me) to concentrate on what you were doing wrong than to admit how much I missed you. I am sorry that it's been easier to demand space and explain why that was better for me than to embrace the blessing you gave me every night and every morning; you allowed me to sleep soundly and begin my days without fear. Without fear that while I was muddling through the mundane bullshit of my days you survived another night in the desert, this was the gift in the phone call that began (just about) every day of (almost) the last year. You allowed me to sleep peacefully being confident that you had, yet again, completed another horribly, unimaginable day in the summer heat of the Middle East. Thank you. These were gifts. I took them for granted and that is not fair. You and I have talked before about how easy it is for people (anyone, and all of us) to call home (or a friend) and bitch about the negative in our lives, but conversely, we hardly call people to say "Hey, I survived the day. While uneventful and fairly boring it wasn't bad. I have nothing to complain about." Somehow this part of my excuse in demanding space. Demanding "emotional distance." Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I'm not retracting my earlier statement that for me the emotional distance is what forces a heart to grow fonder. For me that is true. But under these just unimaginable, agonizing, heartbreaking circumstances I am thankful for all the phone calls. I am thankful for the peaceful nights' rest and the assured ways I've begun my days and your phone calls which provided both.

I miss you.

43 Days Left...

Hmmm.. so whats new? I realized that I hadn't posted anything yet today. Well, what have I been up to? Being sleepy. Walked the dog. Returned our Evaporative Room Cooler to Lowes. Chatted with my best-Homie Amanda for like 2 hours. Then napped. WOOO. Watch out people, I'm a party animal! =)

So the baby subject is still swirling around in my head and in conversation with my hubby. If you haven't checked out his blog go see what he had to say on the subject (link to the left). I think he is right, we'll see what happens when he gets home. Other than that we're on opposite sides of the issue but I know that one day we'll procreate! =) I completely see where my husband is coming from and respect his position. One day it will happen, I just don't "see" it happening any foreseeable days. ha haa I laugh because of all the "seeing" going on not laughing at the issue.

Heads up for everyone for tomorrow: Ben and Jerry's is having Buy 1, Get 1 sundaes; Diary Queen is having Buy 1, Get 1 Blizzards and Bath and Body works is giving away a free foaming hand sanitizer with any purchase! So have a fantastic 4th of July everyone! Any good plans??

Grilled Pizzas (44 Days)

Last night Lauren came over and we had grilled pizzas! They were super yummy, but nothing really over the top or unexpected. Grilled pitas with pizza sauce, Mozzarella, pepperoni and fresh basil... they were soooo easy and really good! The grill really makes the pita crunchy and yummy! Lauren said she liked them also. I'm excited to try different versions in the future!

Other than that lately I have really been mulling over the whole procreating decision... It's a huge decision to make. Lately I've been excited and anxious about the idea. I'm afraid that I've been just swept up in the excitement swirling around, with my sister's IVF. All the family has been talking about is baby names, how many babies she'll have, boys versus girls, ect ect. Lets just pretend for the sake of argument that I am ready to birth some spawn. It's really not practical for where Kevin and I are right now, to be having children. It wouldn't be fair to us or our perspective "spawn". Doesn't change the fact that we want them. We have more than some but is it enough?

PS: I say "spawn" with all the love and affection in the world people. I am not some evil wench who resents kids. =) just FYI for those of you who really don't know me or my sense of humor that well.

T-minus 45 Days

Hey there! Well, I actually don't have time to be writing this post. I have to hit up the gym. Then I have to get to Sam's Club for a few things, Target, stop by my mothers for fresh basil and put gas in my car!! And be available to talk with my hubby at 1230! Hmmm... I best get my ass in gear. huh?

But I don't wanna- lol! Yesterday I had Kaitlyn and Korben over for dinner. I made this asian-type "salad" that I found in some magazine at the dentist' office. Yes, I'm that person... the evil broad who tears out the pages I want! Get over it... Any who the recipe in the mag calls for spinach, imitation crab meat, edamame, seedless cucumbers, rice, shaved carrots and radishes. Well I changed it, because I hate imitation anything-meat and spinach. I substituted Romaine Lettus for the Spinach, and I marinated 2 chicken breasts in Sesame Ginger dressing and pan fried it sliced all my veggies mixed it together and viola! Kaitlyn said overall she dug it but I am still on the fence. ha ha The cucumber really kind of ruined it for me. Next time that will not be included. I think maybe some lime juice would be good to balance everything. Sometimes a lil' citrus is necessary!!! We'll see. Oh.. and like an A-hole I forgot the carrots. Oh well. ha ha

Tonight after my excessive errands I am cooking grilled pizzas for Lauren and I! Maybe it's not obvious by now but I love the FOOD Network so I've been picking and choosing some new things to try. This grilled pizza craze is very interesting to me. We'll see how it works out. If I'm going to have Lauren here and be grilling I guess I'll have to find time to pick up some dog poop! GREAT! SWELL! I must go now ladies. Tootle-lou!