Day 105: Bout half way.

Yeah, it's been one hundred and five days, already. 105 days ago my husband left for Afghanistan on this fourth deployment. 105 days ago I was a hot mess. Today, I'm not a hot mess (but getting hotter... woo woo)! Today I'm living life and trying to roll with the punches in the best ways I know how. I'm losing weight and I intend to continue down this same path! I'm working on my tan, obviously this is a huge priority. I'm going to school. I'm working hard and bringing home some of my own bacon! Yeah, I'm having a good deployment. I say we're forced into these crap-tastic, lengthy periods of time without our spouses we might as well enjoy what we can.*

I say in the title "bout half way", because we're about half way to R&R. We're looking forward to Vegas!!

Can I also just say I'm looking forward to tomorrow. "Why?" I'm sure you're wondering. Well, I'll tell you. Tomorrow is cheat day for my diet. I'm looking forward to pasta (yummm) and ice cream. Maybe beer. (I know I'm classy. Get over yourself we can't always be elegantly sipping Pinot.)


*Just because I can manage to enjoy myself doesn't me I don't love my husband. It just means I know how to be by myself. I've always been a person who needs some alone time to reflect, decompress and relax. It's how I roll. ;)

The Realness

I miss my husband. I miss him more when I have an itch, I can't scratch (on my back- you pervs) at 11:00 PM. I've had the opportunity to speak with him quite a bit when I'm sitting around really wanting his opinion on something I haven't had to wait too terribly long to get it, so I can't really complain on that front. I do just miss his company, in the car, in the kitchen, at the dinner table, in bed to snuggle with... I have to say, we do the whole pre-deployment-fighting-wonderfulness. The ownership for that belongs to both of us. It's not all him but it's not all me either. We come together in the end, we do eventually see the bigger picture! My point being that while we do love each other we fully understand the other's faults and shortcomings and today I'm missing him.

(and I missed him ALOT last night when I couldn't reach that spot on my back!)

German Wine

Friday night I had just settled in for the night (aka took my bra off already), made peace with the fact that I'd be chillin' by my lonesome and was going through the process of picking out some chick-flick to keep me busy until bed time... when a new friend M, invited me over for some wine with a couple of other girls. Usually I limit myself to 2 drinks, I don't like to get buzzed or tipsy, or (God-forbid) Drunk... no no, that's just not my style. However, M and I were sipping our glasses of wine, as a lady should as soon as I stood up after my 2 drink limit to hit the little girls room I was already buzzed. EEkkk... this 30% wine is no joke people. I proceeded to have another 2 glasses (I think) and some bread (carbs are a must when one drinks, right?) (does that mean this evening with friends, wine and bread counts as Communion? Just saying...). Needless to say good times were had by all!

I've been lucky enough to speak with Kevin quite a bit since he's been gone. He finally met up with his company and is getting to know the guys on his maintenance team. Seems like there's less structure with this group of guys than the team he was on in Colorado- time will tell though.

Other than alllll of that exciting news there isn't too much to report. Still waiting to hear back on that job. I think the hiring official with the contractor was out of the office the end of last week. GRRrr. I love waiting. It's my favorite.

And he's....

Gone.




Maybe Bone Thugs n Harmony isn't your cup of tea... but right now I can't find a more fitting song. 


That could have something to do with the fact that my husband texted me from "parts-unknown" telling me to look up this song and he was dedicating it to me. But then again, could have something to do with the chorus:

If I had one wish
That wish would be clear
That I would not have to go
That I could stay here
And although it hurts me
To leave you all alone
Just know I'll come back for you
For now I'm gone.

It's strange I didn't completely flip my shit until I heard this song. I was 'ok' until I got home and found his dirty draws on the bathroom floor this song. 


I miss him already. 

I LOVE Bavaria

Really what's not to love!?

Picture it, a lazy Thursday afternoon at home in Baumholder, Germany. The hubs and I have barely said 2 words to each other all day because you know- we're being lazy and just bored witless. I see a commercial on AFN for Edelweiss..... I've heard of Edeweiss before and been told how amazing it is. I'd looked into booking a room 2 separate occasions before with no luck (nothing available). So I went over to the Edelweiss website and plugged all of our info in, and sure enough they had available rooms (shocking, for a Thursday night)! So we QUICKLY got our shizzle together, fueled up and got on the road. We didn't get checked in until about 830 pm, you see it's a 5 hour treck from Baumholder to Garmisch... the drive was a God-awful experience but it was ultimately VERY worth it.

We immediately feel in LOVE with Edelweiss, it has a very relaxing, welcoming vibe. We weren't there an hour and already made plans to go back for Christmas (and got details on how to go about booking a room for that)! Because I'm kind of a dumbass I failed to take exterior pics of the hotel, but the lobby was gorgeous:

We only had enough time to eat, explore what the resort has to offer (arcade for kids, casino for adults, multiple restaurants and bars, SPA, pool, gym.....), grab a few drinks then get to bed- that drive was rough. haa. We had to get up early Friday to see anything and get home in a timely fashion, we were up at 6AM got ourselves looking acceptable for being out in public, hit up the breakfast buffet and then made our way out. But not before the view from our room stole our breath away:

Amazing, right?

So we had to get home at a somewhat reasonable hour but I knew being so close we just had to stop by Neuschwanstein Castle (you may know it because it's inspiration behind the Disney Castle). I'm so glad we went it was amazing! Again with absolutely awesome views. I can see with King Ludwig had it built there (although he only live in Neuschwanstein for 170 days).

I told you the views were awesome.

The castle, itself wasn't too bad either..
Unfortunately we didn't have much time to explore the exterior of the castle as the Army intervened and we had to go running.... Such is life, right?
We did, however take the tour of the completed rooms of the interior castle (yeah, you read that right the entire castle wasn't completed before King Ludwig's "suspicious" death). You aren't permitted to take photos of the interior of the castle (not sure why- I was afraid to ask, our guide reminded me of the creepy weird character from Lord of the Rings- Galum?). But you could take pictures from the interior of the castle of the views...

my favorite pic from the trip.

The last few pictures were of King Ludwig's childhood home Schloss Hohenschwangau. These photos were taken from Neuschwanstein, they are very close together. I picked up a few books on the history of the castle (the guided tour was just hard to follow with our Galum-like tour guide... still creeps me out) and can't wait to fill in a few of the blanks.

We had to leave Neuschwanstein quickly but it's ok because I KNOW we'll be back. I can't wait to tour Hohenschwangau, walk the bridge (pictured above), and spend more time taking in the views and snapping a few more photos with my love.

Yea, I know it's a CLOSE up, but there's only so much you can do when you're forced to travel alone and you have this bulky DSLR. I still love it! :)

The D-Word

So it only took 2 months and 7 days since arriving in Baumholder for serious talks of Deployment to start. The Army being what the Army is, we of course, know nothing concrete. I don't know if I'll have 2 days, 2 hours, or 2 months with my husband before he leaves on his 4th deployment. I know that Kevin has been lucky in regards to dwell time and stabilization, in comparison to others. He wasn't caught up in the troop surge. He wasn't extended to 18 months like some families I know. But the reality of "this is really happening, again" just hit me. I lost hope this morning, of spending his birthday with him this year, or mine, and most likely our anniversary.

Here I am, after surviving Kevin's last deployment of 355 days, only looking at (approx.) 275 days without my love and I'm feeling lucky, scared, deprived and proud. I'm Lucky because we've had the last 547 days together and we're only facing 275 days apart. I'm Scared because we're all people, human, regardless of age, time in grade, enlisted or officer, we all love our husbands and worry the same way. I feel Deprived because I have no solid information as to when Kevin will be leaving (things are still up in the air); we have a 4-day this weekend. A 4-day we could venture to Paris or Munich, but we'll spend it close to home.... waiting. I feel Proud because, to this day there is nothing I've done that I'm more proud of then standing by (behind, whichever adjective you prefer) my husband, supporting him throughout his deployments.

I've often wondered if life would be easier for the Pamela and Chase's out there; the Delta's (hush hush, shhh) leaving on a moment's notice. You don't have this 3 month pre-deployment build up of non-sense to deal with. You get to rip the bandaid and press on with business. Of course, the grass isn't always greener- I understand that the "high speed" fellas (as I like to refer to them) do a lot more training (as they should, they're high speed after all) a lot more deployments (lest they be shorter, but different missions, ect). I really don't need all the spouses of the high speed fella's coming out of the wood work to explain the differences to me, trust me I get them and I fully respect them. I'm just saying this one aspect is something I've wondered about; Would it be easier to cope with, that way (not the whole High speed aspect, JUST the last minute/no notice part)?

I guess I'll find out, won't I?

The Trifecta

The Trifecta: No Dog. No Husband. No Sleep.

All that plus being in a strange bed in a house I haven't slept in, in over 4 years... last night sucked. You'd think that would be an aspect of my life I'd grow used to. You'd think. Maybe it's only a matter of time? Maybe some are just better at that aspect than I am?

On top of that, I'm usually pretty spirited about Christmas. This year it's just something I probably won't be able to celebrate. I'm just wondering why the retailers are torturing me with Christmas decor?

(short story: I was walking through Target last Thursday with Erin and LB noticing all the decor and talking about what gifts we'd purchase this year. Well, all of it was really overwhelming. I want to decorate my house for Christmas like I did last year. Nevertheless, I was pouting in the Target. I was so sad that I couldn't really participate. Sucks.)

I wish they just could have held off until after I left the country. Whenever I leave the house I have reminders everywhere I go that I won't be home for Christmas (and all that comes along with it). On top of not being home Kevin and I may not have any of our household good until December 29th... yea, do the math.

I'm trying to remind myself that it's going to be great. It'll be Kevin and I, and we're make it special just by being together. Ho, Ho, Ho.

So much crap- so little time!

I've been busy. Just the other day I was saying that I wished I just had nothing to do. I keep reminding myself that at least we have the means to get things accomplished and that's more than some; I'm We're lucky.

Moving on, LB made me two camera straps for my Cannon. I <3 her! Spent too much time in Target (really it started to feel claustrophobic... yeah... was there too long)... thanks to LB and Erin. They don't blog much (lately), as you can see because they're busy spending time with yours truly and planning my surprise going away party (I say again, surprise, lol)!

My mother made a good point the other day (as she often does): I'm giving up practically everything I've ever owed for the new adventure of moving to (and living in) Germany. So far, I'm down one dog (={) and one house (bouncing around in spare rooms). As of tomorrow I'll be down my car! I'm good with saving the money but I sorta hate my husbands Jetta; it's not comfortable and it's far too low to the ground (especially in comparison to my SUV). Again... gotta remind myself we are so lucky to have two cars, some people don't have one... suck it up Sam!

The hubs is trying to talk me into getting a new computer. I'm torn. Maybe now isn't the time? But we went and look at Best Buy to see what's up. I've only blogged, virtually begged for a MacBook for AGES. But I'm having a hard time lately justifying the cost. After speaking with very knowledgeable Matt (at Best Buy) for a messily two hours I'm stuck between these two:

Sony- Vaio Laptop

(14" display, 4GB Memory, 500GB Hard Drive)

$799.99

Apple- MacBook Pro

(13.3" display, 4GB Memory, 256GB Hard Drive)

$1199.99

My new buddy Matt recommended the MacBook Pro because of my new affection for picture-taking, for it's editing capabilities (which come installed). You may think, if you're problem is the cost of the Mac's... go for the all-white MacBook and not the Pro. Well, our buddies at Best Buy offer/honor a military discount on Mac's (not on the Sony) which would amount to $100 off the Pro, bringing it down from $1200 to 1100- the MacBook is at $1000. The Pro is made of aluminum versus the plastic on the MacBook and you get 2 more GB's of Memory on the Pro... so it's worth the extra $100. But is the Pro at $1100 worth it, in comparison to the Sony at $800? 

Decisions.... Decisions... 

Incase I forgot to mention it in the last 14 paragraphs the hubs is out to the field for the next week -- his last week in the shop and he's out in the field. Next Monday he starts clearing! Ekk! 

What a Difference a Year Makes

One year ago today my husband returned from a year long deployment to Iraq. He should have been home a year ago, yesterday. But we know how the Army operates on their own schedule, with no regard to what I may want. Jerks. HA!

That was one of the most special days. It was hands-down the best day of my life, to date. (yes, this includes our wedding day) I've never experienced such a variety of emotions all at once like that. Relief, nervousness, excitement, anxiousness... patience was no where in my hodgepodge of emotion, sadly. I mean seriously if only patience was the normal, given emotion for that situation. Because you know we're on the Army's time here. Nothing happened on time, it was always "just a little while longer". It wasn't as poorly organized as my Brother-in-laws redeployment ceremony but it definitely wasn't good times.

I was so lucky to have my family around though. I don't know what I would have done all day if I didn't have my Mother and Father-in-law to keep me occupied and LB to visit in the hospital that day.

Today, even though my husband has been in the field for most of the last 3 months I am still grateful that he's home.

(don't forget to enter my giveaway gals!! Closes the 22nd!)

Happy Girl

I'm a happy girl, folks!

There's a soft rain falling outside, my husband is out of my hair upstairs, the house is clean and I can just relax the  rest of the weekend away! :)

I woke up this morning feeling rather unmotivated to breathe or move or think or do anything really. I'm not sure if it was he thought of having to wake up tomorrow and head back out to work or the fact that Aunt Flo came a few days early- I hate when she just pops in.... She's evil. All the same, after the hubs and I had breakfast outside on the back porch he asked what else I had to get done today. "Bathrooms." I told him. Boooo! Since I was so unmotivated he said he would clean the bathroom. For my husband, this is a big deal. In the last five years my husband has never cleaned a bathroom.

You guys know how I've been wanting/needing new pots and pans? I decided today was the day! Went to one discount place bu they didn't have all the pieces as a matter of fact they only had 3 of 12 pieces. So my husband (who has a habit of loosening he purse strings a little way too easily) suggests we try Bed Bath and Beyond. Of course we found something there! A Stainless Steel, Non-Stick Calphalon set. Only $500.

I soon stumbled across a great stainless steel set at Kohls for $140. The Calphalon's are going back tomorrow. I know it's a great brand but $140 is more my budget.

Also, can anyone explain to me why this broad I saw at the UFC fight last nigh waltzes' in alone with her jeans painted on her ass and her "MMA" jersey tied up revealing her mid-drift with her Coach Bag, Coach case for her Blackberry, Coach bracelet and Gucci classes?? Questionable.

When Your Husband...

Cooks dinner it makes things allllll better!

Kevin doesn't cook. Period. Well, not quite that "period." He does make macaroni and cheese. Since I started working again I've been pretty beat/exhausted/lazy/useless in the evenings. Somehow I'm also more hungry throughout the day. This using your brain business is no joke. Anywho, today I text Kevin about 4 p.m. and asked him if he would mind starting dinner because I was super hungry. To my surprise Kevin agreed. Once I (finally) made my way home he had the grill heated up, steak on, and rice-a-roni started! All I had to do was make the corn! 

Gotta say I don't think there are too many things that comin' home to that wouldn't fix. 

My friend and her husband are doing okay. Last I heard he's still in Kuwait awaiting transport to Germany. He broke two vertebra near the top of his back. He's up walking around and they don't think he'll need surgery. All in all he seems to have been pretty lucky. Thanks for all the support and prayers! 

In other Solider/Army related news, all the NCO's met with the new Sergeant Major today. Evidently he's a very family orientated guy and will be contacting the parents of all the soldiers. You know.... just to say Hi. While I think this is great.... I'm wondering why he isn't contacting the spouses of the married soldiers and parents of the unmarried guys? 

Any thoughts??

Oh.... last but not least (although I wish I didn't have to talk about this at all) the hubs will be gearing up for his fourth deployment this fall -- the gearing up part is in the fall. The Deployment part I'm not sure... but my best guess is in the Spring (2011). 

So for "I Want it Wednesday" I want another Wednesday... 

That doesn't include conversations about injured soldiers

or deploying husbands. 

I Want it Wednesday...

Today I Want for nothing materialistic. 

Today I Want to be thankful for all that I do have and not truly Want for more.

Today I am thankful and content and grateful. 

Today you should all know after a year and a half of looking everywhere I could think of, I've finally landed a job. Yes that's right people. It's a temporary position filling in for someone going away on reserve duty for 5-7 weeks. I don't have the exact dates yet but what I do know is that it's good money and will buy me some time. I was also told that the last 2 people that filled in for this person were offered permanent positions within the company. 

When it rains it pours. 

After I got the called telling me an offer letter was on it's way to me. I got another call for a phone interview today! 

I am thankful that I've turned a corner with my job search. 

One thing I can tell you that I do Want... I Want my husband to pursue what he's passionate about. I want him to be clear (for both of us) what he wants for his future and GO GET IT! Because, I know he can. 

Happy Wednesday. 

I Want it Wednesday...

I want...

I want...

I think I actually NEED this! 

I'm pretty sick of getting into the car to go to the gym and finding my iPod DEADER than a doornail!

I want...

everyone to know that although we originally thought my hubs wouldn't be here for my birthday he is going to be back from JRTC TOMORROW!!! 

Which means, he'll be home for the first time since I've met him for my BIRTHDAY!!! 

And it's a big one too...

the BIG 2-5! 

I'm growin' up.

Don't miss it people... it's this Saturday, May 1st (of course)! 

We all know I'm mildly obsessed with Apple products so if you're feelin' generous go ahead and pick up whatever you'd like and we'll be sure to get it to me. 

tee hee

I Want it.... Wednesday

I love that ExPat Girl wants her husband today!

I also want my husband today... Don't hate me, those of you who are in the throws of a deployment but Kevin is at the range until tomorrow afternoon and I miss his nonsense already! This is the first time he's been gone sense he got back from Iraq in August. It'll be alright though. I'm sure I'll make it through... lol! I'm having a few girlies (and their girlies/daughters) over this evening for some wine and foood!

(there has to be foood!)

I want... to see Shrek the Musical AND Marry Poppin's on Broadway.

(I want... enough money to make this dream a reality, you know airfare, hotel and such...)

I want... this back:

{SAD FACE}

I want... to sell our old couch on Craislist! Why don't people want my crap?

(it's not really crap, it sat in our spare room for about a year and a half and was barely ever sat on!)

SOMEONE BUY IT!

My Husband; The Kiss Ass Favorite

My husband is usually out of the house by 5AM everyday. He is rather obsessed with being ridiculously early on-time for PT (if nothing else). He was parked and ready to go at 530 this AM. With nothing else to do he desides to pick up the phone and call my Granny (in NJ). While I do find this adorable, I also think it makes him a total kiss ass! ;-) And I'm good with that. All the same, he is now my Granny's favorite person on the planet. Good-for-him! Laa-T-da.

Happy Halloween. While it may not be my cup of tea, the majority of people enjoy it, so be safe and have fun out there!

Check your candy! Booooo!

OoopSie

Evidently I changed my settings yesterday so that no one could comment on my blog! :( Well I'm here to tell you that I've rectified that situation. So, please bring on the comments. More importantly please take a look at my last post and visit the American Legion website in order to donate for those soldiers that have sacrificed so much.

~***~

My hubs is at sick call. Maybe he'll get 24-hour quarters! It's odd I couldn't wait for him to go back to work after a whole 30 days together. Non-stop. Without a break. Don't get me wrong I'd prefer to put up with his smells, and finding clothes everywhere... I digress. The point being we were both ready for the break that work provides. Promise. BOTH of us were ready. :) I miss having him to spend my days with though.

~***~

Amy and I are just about ready to unveil 2 new Blogger Awards! Check back for that. We're excited for some new awards that haven't been circulated over-and-over again, with the same set of rules we’ve all seen 1000 times. Stay tuned!

~***~

Welcome to Colorado.

This is fairly typical weather for us. Yes, it drives me friggin' b.a.n.a.n.a.s. I do love the snow and cold weather. I would however, prefer a bit more consistency in my weather. I mean really from 20's to the 70's within a 5-day period? Yes, really.

Update

I know I've been a bad blogger -- BAD Sam, bad!

I have to tell everyone about the Homecoming... Needless to say it was very emotional. I am so happy that Kevin had such a good turn out though. There were 12 of us there just for him! His mother and step-dad came into town to be there, so that was extra special. Well I've seen all the pictures that people took except for my mother-in-law's. So far there isn't a great picture of the two of us!! Bah-hum-bug! Here are a few:

The top one was taken from cell phone and the bottom one is blurry... but I'd rather have these then NOTHING! So, I'm happy!

Well, the Hubs and I are starting to get into some what of a routine so I'll be able to get back into the swing of blogging, reading and commenting on other blogs as well!

~~~~~

We had a great few days with my MIL and FIL. We had dinners, went to Cripple Creek (gambling), tooled around the Broadmoor and Mantiou Springs with them and just hung out. It was really nice, quality time with them!! :)

Kevin and I finally got a new digital camera! Wooo. So I'll be able to take my own pictures and post them too! We've also seen a few movies. We got to the newest (because its not so "new" anymore) Harry Potter but sadly Kevin fell asleep a couple of times... that acclimating takes a few days. We watched "I Love You, Man" last night. Which he didn't find nearly as hilarious as I did, but still thought it was funny and enjoyable! Tonight we're watching Twilight!! Wooo Woo. I've also enjoyed cooking again! Tonight we had pasta- which my hubby has always loved. I'm STUFFED but somehow he's got room for that Chick-pea Salad I highlighted a few posts back. Egh... whatevs.

~~~~~

This past Sunday we participated in the "Run for the Fallen" on Fort Carson. It's pretty self-explanatory. It's a 1-mile walk/run in memory of the fallen soldiers/service members. It was pretty moving. I've never been to something like that before. As Kevin and I left, I felt very grateful. Grateful, not only to have my husband home with me safe and sound but also that with all of the soldiers I know and have met I haven't known any that didn't return home.

That is until today. My sister sent me a link for a local news spot about Sgt. Matthew Ingram. He pasted away last Friday in Afghanistan. Matt was married to an old friend of mine, Holly. I was actually at their wedding. I haven't spoken to her in over a year (maybe more) but I was shocked and floored by this. I don't remember exactly where she lives, I don't have her phone number anymore, I couldn't find her on facebook... I don't have myspace anymore!! I really want to contact her though. :( Her and Matt had a daughter... she's just a baby still. I didn't know she was pregnant, I don't know her name or when she was born but based on the news she can't have been more than 10 months old now.

Sad.

~~~~~

Also!!! With some winnings from Cripple Creek (PS: Craps is WAAAYYY over my head -- thanks for the lesson though, Neal) we were able to change our hotel reservation for Vegas from the crappy Circus Circus to the Excalibur!!! :) I am super excited about this. Also, (:D) we are going to NJ for my Granny's 75th Birthday Shin-Dig!!!!!!!! Wooooo! I am so excited for Kevin to meet my Jersey family. It'll be good times. A short trip but well worth it.

~~~~~

As much I enjoy the blogging I must put the computer down and concentrate on some Twilight! At least you're all caught up on my life!

Bow Chicka Wow Wow

That's right people, my husband is home!!! (:

He arrived yesterday early evening. The homecoming ceremony was emotional -- of course! Thankfully he is off for the next few days (through the weekend) so we will be spending the next few days with family, RELAXING and acclimating. (:

I'll post pictures as I get them from family that was around -- I was a little too busy yesterday to be responsible for taking pictures, hahAhAA!

Sorry we skipped "I Want it Wednesday!" but I think you can all understand!

Nothing

No news from Kevin.

No news from the Army.

Just waiting... and waiting.

Thankfully, my in-laws and family are here and God willing I'll have more reliable specifics in the AM.

I love my husband and couldn't be happier that he's coming home SOOO soon but I am also really nervous and anxious about his return. Anyone else get that?

Husband-O- Husband...

Where for art thou Husband??

As reported yesterday, I didn't speak with Kevin yesterday. :( I was assuming hoping that meant he was in Kuwait!

I was wrong.

I received an email from Kevin about 2 AM -- he was letting me know that he wasn't able to call yesterday morning because the phones were done and that he would not be able to call me this morning either, since he had to pull guard.

:(

I suppose we're on schedule for his homecoming. A girl can always hope it happens sooner than scheduled/expected, right? All the same I hope to talk to him VERY soon. I did get spoiled, speaking to him as often as we have this past year....... Can't spoil a woman then cut it off. It just doesn't work like that! Grrr.

Here's to patience.... Ha HAHa ;)