Tuesday, March 31, 2009

SAD

So here's the deal: the last 24 hrs have been interesting. I have been doing a lot of reading and I have found a lot pretty depressing posts. Well, they aren't meant to be depressing. They are meant to inspire others, and merely to tell a soldier’s story. Well, I'm sorry to blurt it out like this, but truly and honestly I don't know how else to say it: After seeing all of the folded flags, 21-Gun Salutes, and reading all the 'back' stories [that I've found] it's made me pretty damn sad! I appreciate and am deeply sadden by the sacrifice made by the men in these stories. I think that it's only natural that my mind wanders straight to my deployed soldier, right?

My first emotion wasn't so much fear that Kevin would wind up in one of these stories, or fear that he won't make it home... instead I was just sad and found myself in tears on more than one occasion!

I'm not the first wife in these shoes right? Having these sad feelings, sucks BUT how does one deal? I suppose I can accomplish my second goal for the week, and encourage myself to stay positive right? I think the first step is to get off this computer (as much as I enjoy your blogs, and my readers), and move around. Straighten up the house. Gym (maybe, if I actually get that motivated). Well, the point is to get moving!
Thanks for listening today..

Deep Breaths...

So, after my rather intense posts the last two days I'm feeling like I need something more positive and lighthearted in my life.

Who likes my new digs??? ;-) I thought a new look would have a nice affect on things.

Today is my mommy's birthday. I had her and her husband, my sister and her hubby and my nephew Nathan over for dinner. Evidently we're simple folk; we had meatloaf, mash potatoes, veggies and rolls. That's a birthday dinner around here, but it's what she wanted. :) So I'm not complaining because all of that is too each to make. I love meatloaf- we aren't the type to smother it in some weird odd-looking sauce. It's basically a giant 1-2 lbs hamburger. But, again we dig it!

Even though it didn't work out too well for me last night tonight I went looking for some new blogs. I found some that although I didn't agree with what they had to say, I wasn't offended by their views- nor was I moved to rant on and on about how why I disagreed with what they had to say. Thankfully, I found some that I am really looking forward to reading more of. I am especially excited about two of the blogs I found. As I read about their lives and opinions, and some of the articles they had posted I found myself in tears not once but quite a few times. I felt that these women truly loved where they are at in their lives (minus the fact that their hubby's were off fighting a war half a world away). Maybe it's a front...? Well, I for one hope that they are sincerely happy and continue to find great and unique ways to occupy themselves until the safe return of their men!

As for me... I'm doing my best to remain positive! I'm continuing the support of my soldier... Anyone have some really great ideas for packages? After (on average) 1 box a week for the last 27 weeks, I'm sort of feeling like I need some fresh ideas... Keeping in mind my hubster has started to complain about it getting hot!! Am I the only one who was surprised that it actually got COLD in the desert? No, for your smartasses out there this is not something I JUST NOW learned but it was something I did not know prior to guys that I know leaving to Iraq. Once my brother-in-law went to Afghanistan I was totally floored when I learned the mountains actually got SNOW! Oiy.. maybe it's just me?? C'mon ladies, back me up here!

Anywhozle... It's the end of Monday (PS: I'm beat!!!), and I'm looking forward to a great week! I think I'm going to start declaring a goal for the week on Mondays... How does that sound?!

GOAL #1: This week I'm going to contact the IRS and demand my refund.. where is that shit?! hmmm.!

GOAL #2: This week, I will encourage someone that I care about to stay positive...

Well, that's 2 goals but I would say two goals are better than 1 anyway!
WOOO! here's to a great week everyone!

Monday, March 30, 2009

US vs THEM *response...

Dear Casey,
I suppose I should start by saying I didn't address you personally in an open and honest discussion, because I didn't realize you were so vein (as the song goes) to think this "song" was about you. Well, I thought it would be a good song reference there... Honestly, (if that's what we're going for) your blog played a part in yesterday's post but not in its entirety. If you notice I didn't wait for your response to my question in regard to your husband's deployments, or lack thereof. Also, you aren't the only conservative AF wife blogging about their woes, or life overseas.

Well, thank you for proving the point I was trying to make. This is simple logic, (and sense you've opened yourself up for discussion) your husband hasn't served in the same capacity as mine. Now, this doesn't mean Airmen (your husband, my father, Nikki even) aren't entitled to respect. I'm pretty sure I never said not to respect, or flat out disrespect them, but I digress. I respect my father, but not because he service in the military/AF makes him a "warrior" or a "hero", but because he is a good and hard working man with morals and personal integrity- just as I'm sure your husband is. Military service does not automatically entitle one to the title of "hero." There are soldiers and Marines that I feel aren't heroic... soldiers and Marines whom dodge their duty to deploy with twisted ankles and other lame excuses. These same soldiers and Marines are not heroes. Your husband's service is to be respected, but so is mine. The differences in their military careers need to be appreciated as well.

This is where my issue comes into play. You have not yet been where I've been; nor your husband been to where mine has. Depending on your husband’s job he will likely not see a war front during the course of his career- this is not disrespect, it is fact, or truth. The fact that mine has dealt with the summer heat in the desert of Iraq three times during the course of his short time [so far] in the Army, and that I have laid in an empty bed night after night... and held the hand of another Army Wife in the middle of the night during the first months of the war in Iraq, while she sobbed through her fears that she would never really get to begin her life with her new husband.... while she hoped for his safe return but fought of thoughts of his horizontal return in a flag draped coffin. These are the realities...

Personally, I would prefer wives who have not suffered through the agony of a deployment (and who very well may not have to) should appreciate the fact that someone like myself has. Be thankful that you have your husband next to you every night and home for dinner on most occasions. I would prefer you and your husband count your blessings, versus feeling entitled to the same glory, respect and recognition as those have been through the experiences that have EARNED the parades, and appreciation.

As for the TDY vs DEPLOYMENT issue... The AF has labeled visits from weeks up to 3 months (even more) to the places I listed as "deployments". I am glad to hear that even though the AF may consider these deployments you do not. But, there are other AF spouses and Airmen alike who have embarked on these vacations (ha ha.. comic relief...! no? anyway) and feel that because the AF has labeled it a deployment that they too have risked their lives and are deserving of something close to the accolades my husband has received.

All of the above is why I have hoped (and will continue to) that the ladies like yourself (and your husband’s) will appreciate the differences in service. I suppose my attempt to point out these differences could be viewed as confrontational, petty, or argumentative. You and some others may think it isn't worthy of comparison. But I do...

I hope that you and your husband continue to enjoy your time in Europe. You have taken some beautiful pictures by the way! And if your husband should have to deploy (even beyond Saudi, or Qatar; these places too should almost not be considered deployments.. malls, civies, pools... almost reminiscent of Orlando, hmm.), may God be with him, but not till then will either of you truly understand what I’m trying so desperately to convey.

Sincerely,
Samantha

US vs THEM

I think this is going to be one of my first really pissed off blogs. I spent some time this afternoon/evening reading some new blogs, and catching up on some others that I actually enjoy. Well I stumbled across one that I found rather immature, and disheartening (especially considering the 'military' that her husband 'serves' in). One characteristic that I have found overly annoying and infuriating is the insulting tone the "Conservative Right" Wingers use to express themselves. There is always this (sometimes) underlying, argument that they are the Godly party which they feel entitles them to look down their noses with judgment upon all who dare to disagree. All of this because some how the idea that their beliefs or 'opinions' are based on the bible puts them in the "right" all the time. God wouldn't steer them wrong... or allow them to believe or embrace any ideal that wasn't correct... it's all so obnoxious and childish.

I choose truth over burying my head in the sand. I choose facts over fiction; furthermore I choose documented history over interpretive manipulation (of said fact). I choose to open my mind up to various news outlets, verses the self-admitted practice of not reading the news papers of our former President George W. Bush. At the end of the day, I stand with the majority... Not the minority people! It's funny that even some the conservatives or the right wingers that I've participated in discussions with deny that they are in the minority. I suppose I should be more specific. Last fall prior to the election I was having a conversation with a Republican co-worker and he flat out refused to accept the realities of former President Bush’s acceptance amongst Americans; The truth (which I openly embrace) is that when Buss left office he held the LOWEST [in 70 years] approval rating amongst Americans, at 22%. Only 5% of American's believed that he was a "Good President." My then co-worker repeatedly stated that "most American's like Bush." I suppose he believed that if he said it over and over again that it would somehow, someway magically make it true. While this can't be true (it can’t be, right..? Seriously?) for all conservative republicans this is the type of attitude that supports my "Head in the sand" theory.
*My co-worker’s idea that everyone loved Bush is not the only example I have that supports my theory (nor was this the only time I’d heard this argument), if anyone would like to share them with the class please throw your hand to the sky and let me know! J
Something else that I find infuriating is how those who don't deploy feel they serve or sacrifice as much as those who have deployed to fight in these wars; same for the spouses. While the wife of an Airman (for example) does serve a purpose and support her husband while he volunteers for deployments to Honduras, Peru, Brazil, Orlando, or Germany, I'm positive that this sacrifice doesn't come close to that of the wife on the verge of her 4th 12 month deployment, plus 1 15 month deployment all in just 7 years of marriage.
I think this is the perfect opportunity to let all my readers know I was raised in an Air Force family. My father served his country for 21 years in the Air Force, reached the rank of Senior Master Sergeant, pay grade E8. During his 21 years in the AF he had only 6 different duty stations; including a "hardship tour" to Iceland for a year. While the AF did provide a very nice life for my family my father does not feel he served his country nearly as much as either one of his son-in-laws has in their 6.5 years in the Army (5 deployments to Iraq, and 1 to Afghanistan are shared between my Husband and my brother-in-law). Also, I have had many disagreements with my neighbor Nikki who is active duty AF, and currently serving her third 6-month deployment to Iraq, about the differences between the Army and the AF. After all the AF basic training only recently started issuing their recruits "real" weapons. By real, I mean that literally. In the past AF basic training only consisted of weapons 'familiarization' AF recruits were not assigned a real M16 (or M4 now, for those of you who are familiar), actually they were given a rubber weapon to carry around... Please keep your chuckles to a minimum. Furthermore, the weapons familiarization course did not include wind calls, adjusting of sights, or proper firing techniques.
My point..? My point is that the blogs I read that pissed me off were authored by the same Conservative Republican right winged Air Force Wife, who has managed to convince herself (and maybe others) that her husband is as much a warrior as mine. The depth of the self dilution by this group if "military wives" is evidently never ending. I guess that is the point of self dilution... hmmm?
Coming back to my homie, Nikki. She volunteered for her third deployment, this time in an administrative capacity; her first two deployments were while she was still a cop A.K.A. Security Forces. Nikki has taught me that there are exceptions to every rule. There are Airmen that are highly trained and do actually "deploy" and serve in these wars... they are not the majority however, but they do exist. Unfortunately, the ones who are and were trained with “real” weapons are outnumbered by those who were all too comfortable with their rubber gun, claiming that TDY’s (or attending a class/conference) in Orlando is somehow a “deployment”. All that I have ever hoped for from those who haven't participated as warriors is that they don't claim to be warriors nor expect to be treated as one. It's not fair or "right" to infringe on the glory that others have earned. We all have a job and purpose we just each need to know our place.
At this point I’m going to venture to guess that I’ve pissed someone else off with this post and my opinions. Well, that’s fine. I am what I am, and when I’m moved to speak my mind that’s what I’m going to do. You don’t have to agree with everything that I say, but refusing to read it or denying any validity places you in the minority with your head squarely in the sand!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Questions....

Hey everyone! The snow finally stopped falling and I was able to escape my house yesterday evening!!! whoo hoo. I was thinking it is pretty weird that I was super upset that I was "trapped" or "stuck" in the house from Thursday about Noon until Friday about 7pm... I'm thinking I would have [honestly] been in the house during those time phrames even if it weren't snowing. What is it about having you're options taken away, that is so upsetting? Maybe it's an American thing...? We are just so used to being able to come and go as we please, that once we can't do it anymore it drives us crazy!! Who knows... either way when I couldn't leave the house for some reason I wanted to or felt like I had to. Well thank goodness I was able to escape Friday evening!!! All of that is behind us now.

So, today we had a troop FRG meeting, which only the POC's showed up to. That's so fun. It is disconcerting when you get involved and want to be there for other wives to help provide some semblance of normalcy, and no one responds to it. I have 7other wives to keep informed, and invite to upcoming FRG meetings. I spend time out of my day attempting to contact them and to provide them with updated information and they say they'll attend the meeting and don't show! It's funny because when I spoke with each of my wives they all said that they would come, that they didn't have anything else going on; bored, have no friends, ect... So why not take advantage? Why sit at home doing nothing or chasing your kids? Versus getting out of the house, participating in an adult conversation (for those who have kids), and maybe just possibly making a friend or two?
I know that a lot of FRG's are filled with caddy gossip mongers! But as I stated in my previous email regarding FRG's, whenever you put a group of women together they are going to gossip, and there are going to be your "bad eggs". All the same, I strongly believe that you get out of groups, situations, relationships what you put into them. If you put nothing into it, then you'll get that back! I got involved with my FRG to meet some people, possibly make a friend (which I did!!!!), and to actually do something productive with my person (since I'm not working... and no one wants to hire me! ugh! that is for another blog). So I am attending meetings, attempting to contact my wives; I am getting out of it what I am putting into it! :)

So ladies, I am hoping that some of you can explain to me why people are uninterested in the FRG, but then want to sit at home playing the victim being lonely!!??

Also, if any of you are active in your FRG's what are some fun things that you do together.. what are things that you enjoyed? Things that you didn't like so much..?

Thanks for your help! I do appreciate it.

Friday, March 27, 2009

More Snow!

0900; Friday, 27 March 2009

So I keep taking a picture with the fire pit just as a reference for everyone to see how much really has accumulated out there. It is really hard to say 6 inches or 22 for that matter because of all the drifts! There's 12 inches over there but 1 over here.... oiy!
Brody is really loving the snow too. Just pouncing around. Sorry I tried to get good pics but that didn't work out so much. :(

Here some shots from the front door.




Does anyone know why the HOA can come out and shovel when we have this much snow, but somehow when we only get like an inche or two it's somehow too dangerous for them to get here? Woe is me...

Wonder when I'll get out of this place????

Blizzard Update

Pictures taken aprox 1015 PM. Another guestimate: 4-5 inches?

I know all of you have been asking yourselves what I've been doing all night! The suspense is killing you isn't it? Yeah, well lose the suspense... I was finding new food blogs. I found some great new recipes too! I really love to cook, and really want to learn some new things, and expand my repitua (sp?) I think that is the correct use of that word. Ha Ha. Anyway, I'm really excited to try a French Pear Tart! Yumm, it looks amazing!
Other than finding some great recipes I sat here and watched some great new TV. I really enjoyed "In The Motherhood," and I was sooo happy that "Samantha Who?" is back. I love it, it's hilarious. Then of course Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice were really great episodes.

The Moral of the Story???: I'M A LOSER! I get my kicks on a Thursday night with some great programming by ABC! ... On the other hand, there was a Blizzard; what else is a girl to do?

So, back to the weather update: The Governor activated the National Guard. The military installations in the area (there are 5 after all) are closed to Mission AND non-mission essential personnel. I guess it is bad business out there! It's time for me to hit the hay now. I'm too bored to stay awake now! :)
Thanks for checking in ladies!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ugh... This Sucks!

Approximately 2.5 inches as of 230 PM! *Snow started about Noon.





Well, here is a nice spring day in Colorado Springs, CO! I was thinking about a walk in the park today or taking Brody to the dog park or something. Well I woke up this morning and said to myself "Where'd the mountains go?" I have lived in Colorado Springs for over 12 years now, so I know that Spring Blizzards fairly common, but 'they' are saying this is going to be one for the record books. We are expecting 10 inches here; 17 inches in Denver. PS: My mother is stuck in VEGAS at a "class".... There are worse places to be stuck!


This AM I got up and checked my email and applied for a few jobs online, straightened up and finally got out of the house at 11. I went straight to the gym (I could tell by the clouds comin over the mountains that something big was coming my way), and I had to get to Sam's Club for dog food- it was literally all gone! I had a great workout... sometimes I leave wondering why I bothered to leave the house at all, and other times I feel like I really did some good! I stopped at the mall to return some things, then hit Sam's Club. Who else thinks they suck?! Well, actually I love Sam's Club, I'm just bitter today! They don't have the dog food I have always fed to Brody anymore! So, I had to buy a new brand which is really not good for Dogs. But with the weather situation I was really in a bind. Hopefully there isn't too much diareaha.


One thing I do love at Sam's is their flowers. I figured instead of just throwing all the roses in one big vase and being boring I would try to make it pretty. So here's what I did:

Had to do a "tall" arrangement.


But I love the "short stubby" arrangement!


So making the roses look pretty took up some time (out of my boredem). Other than that, Brody is really liking the snow!

Any suggestions of what I can do the next day trapped in the house ladies? I just wish Kevin were here so that we could play in the snow or cuddle up and watch a movie. Something sweet and romantical like that. But, I guess I'll just wait for your suggestions and watch TV, or play Wii in the mean time.

Also, Kevin is on the move. His unit is moving from Hella to Basrah (this is the 3rd move in 6 months). We usually talk everyday, (sometimes more than once or twice) but yesterday I didn't hear from him. So today I heard from him again. I love that he calls me as soon as he possibly can. If there are phones available he will always call and update me- let me know where he is at along the path to the new place. So he is safe and sound! I think that is enough for now. I will more than likely be posting a lot tonight and tomorrow-- since I'll be trapped inside.

ellen

So who else out there loves Ellen?? Oh, man I love me some ellen! She is just so funny, a breath of fresh air... SOOO funny!

I thought I would have a lot more to say about this, but truely and honestly I do not! So, if you aren't into Ellen... then I'm not sure we would get along! :) If ellen isn't your cup of tea, than I hope you have something else that helps you through the afternoon/evening... something to make you smile and take the edge off! :)

Stay positive!

Hey, there "Neighbor"!!!

So here's Kevin and our neighbor, Nikki in Baghdad last week. Please no comments on the dorky way my hubby insists on wearing his "cover". OH! and also no comments on his "shortness"!!! LOL we know...

Nice to see them both!! :) this is the most recent picture I have of both of them, so it's nice to have this. Thanks Nikki!!!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Recognition

Today started off pretty interesting:

FIRST: I was woken up many times by a very persistent and I must say annoying headache throughout the night. Kevin calls about 830 wanting to chat but really not having much to talk about other than to let me know they are going to be tearing down the phones and computers later today so I won't be able to talk to him for a while. :( As sad as this was to hear, I just could not get myself awake enough to converse with him for long -- that damn headache! So, we hang up and I wind up going back to sleep for another hour (give or take).

SECOND: I finally get out of bed (still with this throbbing headache mind you) and proceed with my normal AM routine: Potty, contacts, turn off alarm, release the Beast from his kennel and head downstairs to let him out (he has to potty too first thing in the am) and feed him. I make my way downstairs open the back door and in charges the neighbor's (who I can't stand by the way) new Pit-bull. Evidently the single broad that lived alone, now is shackin' up with some guy who comes along with a dog. This pit starts running all over my house, which drives Brody absolutely crazy. Next, this dog starts fighting with Brody. I manage to get Brody in the backyard and attempt to wrangle this nuisance to return him to the neighbor. Well, my wrangling didn't go well, this dog didn't have any tags so I didn't know his name and he was running all over my house (again). Screaming "hey" and clapping didn't get his attention. So I leave the front door open and venture next door. I knocked and rang the doorbell repeatedly for oh 5 minutes or so and nothing so I head back home. I start clapping and this dog (the pit) comes running down my stairs with the Build-a-Bear "Dog" that Kevin made for me while he was home on Mid-tour (I required him to record a voice message, aww) in his mouth!! I just about came unglued. As if that wasn't enough while attempting to get my Doggie away from him he is running all over my new leather couches!!! Grrrr... This only adds to my headache and pissiness! So I get my stuffed dog away from this nuisance dog and get him out front and we head back over to his owners house. I bang on the door for at least 15 minutes... Evidently this irresponsible couple doesn't care to answer the door (when both cars were there so they were obviously home). In the spirit of keeping a relatively unimportant event a short story... Normally I would hold this dog in my house until his owner was able to get him, but this dog was unmanageable -- attacking my Brody, eating/playing with sentimental belongings and all over my furniture. My neighbor (not the owner- on the other side) was outside and I told him that this wasn't my dog, who he belonged to and apologized if he was bothering him but he wasn't my responsibility. He said that the dog wasn't being a problem. I took advantage of his reasonable attitude and explained why I couldn't watch the dog, and ran back in the house to "cure" my (at this point) migraine! OIY!!! ....

Well back to the title and point of this blog. After I recovered from this dog invading my space and my migraine I ventured out of the house to complete a few minor errands. While I was checking in for my eye appointment I showed my military ID card. The girl at the desk said "oh, you’re a dependent?" I said "Yes, my husband is deployed for the 3rd time now." She said "You know that is something that really amazes me. I don't think I could ever be with someone who was gone so much." I sort of paused for a minute and thought about how to respond. At first I thought to myself, she really just doesn't have it in her... this unique loyalty, dependability and love which us Army Wives all possess, that allows us to stand by our soldier for years at a time. Instead of going into how she just doesn't get it blahblahblah, I simply said "Thank you. It's not always easy, and it's definitely not the life of a celebrity but I think it's worth it!" She sort of giggled (I assumed at the "celebrity" comment) and that was the end of our encounter.

It is strange for me to be recognized and appreciated by strangers; I don't quite know how to react. I remember the first time someone thanked me for my "service"..... I said "Well, thank you too." Ha ha, what a loser right? How come I couldn't come up with something more graceful, or even just appropriate to say? Ahhh, oh well! HAHAHA! I laugh at myself now thinking back on it. I think I said "thank you" back, as to say "Thank you for realizing and appreciating the support I provide for my hard working, DESERVING soldier." Not really sure, but before I could keep the words from spilling out, there it was just out in the universe for me to look back and laugh about!

All the same.. to my other Army wives out there, Thank you all for the burden you bare on behalf of your soldier and family. Thank you for being the backbone of your families and keeping things running smoothly while your soldier is gone for long periods of time. Finally, Thank you for the support you offer to other spouses out there! It means a lot [to me] to know that I'm not alone when I'm feeling petrified, lonely, or even just pissed off! :) Keep sharing your strength when I or another spouse may need it. Never know when you’ll need someone to encourage you or share their strength!!!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Half way....

Lately I've been thinking about what to do, and how to keep busy throughout the remainder of this deployment. We are 6 months and 18 days in. We have already done Mid-tour leave (aka R&R). We've talked just about every day (even in excess some days, ha ha); we've argued, we've discussed our future and changes we want to make in our life, I've had a few scares, been through the worries, and the nightmares. So, I find myself asking "What comes next?" What do I do now half way through this hell to keep my mind occupied, to pass the days and nights? How and will the next 6 months be different than the last?

All that I have really come up with is to continue doing what I've been doing; Take it one day at a time, remind myself that Kevin is trained, knowledgeable, loves me and will return home just as he left! As for the specifics.... I'm still working on those. I know that my recently adopted mantra to stay positive is really helping. I remind myself that my life is what I make of it and that while life may not always be what I want it to be or go the way I would like I have to keep rolling with the punches. I know that if I continue to work hard on all my endeavors (weight loss, school, finding a job, being supportive of Kevin, training Brody) and stay positive I will no doubt achieve all of my goals!

That's my plan for the second half of this deployment... as for Kevin? I'm just going to take a wild shot in the dark and assume there will be more relocating in his unit's future. All of the relocating is tiresome for the soldiers and families, alike. This unit seems to only go to places that have no previous infrastructure to support the soldiers, so they all revert into "building mode." They are forced to construct offices, barracks or sleep in tents, and whatever else might be required. I can say that keeping up with all the different addresses is just growing really old... I'm thinking this is a good time to remind myself to just shut-up and count my blessings (after all I could be the one gallivanting about Iraq, sweating my privates off, and building things...). With at least one more move in store for Kevin what will he do with the remainder of his time???

A good place to start is probably to tell everyone that he has been actively pursuing a dream of his to become a pilot. He studied and utilized resources available to him to prepare for the AFAST test (this is an aptitude test that determines whether or not you are able to be considered for flight training). Along with the AFAST, Kevin discovered he has to submit a packet to include the results of the AFAST, a flight physical, SF 86 (for security clearance- this is a huge pain, by the way), and letters of recommendation just to name a few. After all of this is completed it is submitted to a board which will either reject the applicant or accept the applicant into Warrant Officer Training School (and onto flight training after). This is what Kevin has been learning and researching these first 6 months.

First, I want to say that I am extremely proud of Kevin for having the guts to pursue his dream in the first place. A lot of us abandon our dreams for one reason or another, and Kevin went for his with everything he had. After preparing for the AFAST Kevin spoke with his Unit and they arranged for him to travel to Balad to take the test and flight physical. You have to score a minimum of 90 on the AFAST to be considered, Kevin scored 103!! The physical didn't go as well. One Kidney Stone 2 1/2- 3 years ago along with a titanium rod from his hip to his knee (for a broken femur) resulted in not passing the flight physical. This is not all bad though. Both of these initial disqualifications are subject to waivers. We had done research and expected the titanium rod to cause a bit of a hiccup in the plan, the Kidney stone was a surprise. However, the waiver for the titanium rod is easy enough to attain (an xray and a signature), the Kidney stone waiver will be more difficult to arrange. Well true to form everything one tries to accomplish when dealing with the Army/Government (in general) requires a whole handful of hoops to jump through. The flight surgeon who conducted Kevin's physical did provide some reassurances, stating that he sees no reasons why both waivers wouldn't be attainable.

The rest of the deployment will probably be spent much the same as the first half, for Kevin. Research, calling in favors and attempting to jump through the hoops set between him and his dream.

I appreciate what Kevin is facing and what he's done so far. I am inspired by his willingness to start this process and continue it. Maybe he'll never stop surprising me??? A girl can dream right?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Support from a Distance



Kevin is currently in Balad, Iraq preparing to take the AFAST test, and scheduled the required flight physical in order to fulfill a lifelong dream of his to become a pilot. Ever since I met Kevin he has talking about wanting to be a pilot (in one form or fashion). I am very proud that he has finally taken the necessary steps to attain his dream. He has found the confidence to believe in himself. I know that he has been studying very hard and utilizing every asset he could find to prepare himself for this test.
So after all of the preparation and anxiety it comes down to the test tomorrow. I have spoken with Kevin quite a few times over the last few days and he is very confident about the test. I wish that I could be there with him to provide that extra "ooomph" of support and confidence for him; just to show him that people at home love him and believe in his dreams too. Well I'm here to let you know I believe in you babe and that I know you'll be great tomorrow and pass your test with flying colors! Here's to WO S@#$#$%^!!! :)

Monday, March 16, 2009

Fun at the Zoo!






Yesterday, I went to the Cheyenne Mtn Zoo with my Mom, Wayne, my cousin Jamie, and Nathan. We had a really great day and a lot of fun. Nathan and I fed the giraffes crackers. Nathan pointed out the baby giraffe and when it got close to the fence Nathan asked him if the two giraffes next to him [the baby] where his Mom and Dad. It was really cute! We saw Elephants, Zebras, Monkeys procreating (ugh huh... thats right), Lions, Leopards, Wallabys, Otters, and Tigers. I have been to this Zoo many times and never have I seen the animals so active. The Tigers were moving around (not just laying there still and boring, or not visable at all) play fighting with each other even eating rocks. The only exhibit where we didn't see anything was at the wolves. After the crushing disappointment delivered by the Wolf exhibit, we continued onto the Pony Rides. This was Nathan's favorite. Grandma and "wanye-E" (as he loving refers to them) allowed Nathan to ride the pony once before. He's talked about it for months, "I ride pony," he says "Pony name, Sonny!" He was very excited to see Sonny again! I'm told he was freaking out, pretty scared the first time around. This time he wasn't scared at all, he was so excited and jumped up and down when his turn was over!



Well after the animals, and pony ride we all shared a pizza and had a great afternoon at my mother's. I was really happy to have the opportunity to spend a Saturday out with my family. Usually if we're all together it's at mom's or someone's house and involves food. Actually going out and enjoying an activity together was different and a very welcomed changed of pace.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Kudos! Mrs. Obama...

Today Michelle Obama was visiting Ft. Bragg, NC. She has made it one of her priorities to familiarize and help to rectify the issues of our soldiers and the people that support them; their families. Well, I would say this is a wonderful cause to support. Here's what she had to say today:

FORT BRAGG, N.C. (AP) — First lady Michelle Obama, venturing away from Washington to define her White House role, called on the American people Thursday to embrace the military families in their communities. In her first major advocacy mission, the wife of President Barack Obama spent the afternoon visiting with soldiers and their families at North Carolina's sprawling Fort Bragg. She then told a crowd of community leaders in nearby Fayetteville that Americans need to reach out to members of the military."Our soldiers and their families have done their duty — and they do it without complaint," Mrs. Obama said. "And we as a grateful nation must do ours — do everything in our power to honor them by supporting them."Mrs. Obama has said she wants to focus on military families during her time as first lady. She spent time hugging military members at a dining facility and talking with their spouses in a private session — all in a support center that had some windows boarded up with plywood. Later she visited a classroom of kids, ages 3 to 5, at a Fort Bragg child development center. She gave an animated reading of "The Cat in the Hat" — a book she used to read to her daughters — and then did a few minutes of crafts with kids preparing "Thank You" cards for wounded soldiers."Military family members have their own special courage and strength," she said later. To emphasize her commitment to the military community, Mrs. Obama also gave her first network television interview since the couple took office, sitting down at Fort Bragg with ABC's "Good Morning America." She said in her speech that military members aren't just confined to bases and the surrounding community, noting that the families of National Guard and Army Reserve personnel are struggling to cope in all parts of the country."I encourage everyone out there, within the sound of my voice, to reach out on your own — through schools, PTA, Little L agues, churches, workplaces — and find out if there's a soldier or a soldier's family right there in the community who needs a little extra support," Mrs. Obama said in her speech. "They're there. Something as simple as offering help with car pool duty can make the world of difference to a parent who's trying to hold the family together during a very stressful time."Sgt. 1st Class Ashlyn Lewis, 31, of Indianapolis, said it was a remarkable experience to see the first lady in the cafeteria at Fort Bragg. She said the Obamas have a lot of work ahead of them to shore up deficiencies in the military's medical system."Right now the biggest concern would be taking care of the vets, making sure that the people that are coming home are getting the proper medical care — not just for the Iraqi or Afghanistan vets, but also, there are a lot of Vietnam vets who haven't been receiving the proper care," Lewis said. The Obamas are "headed in the right direction," Lewis added, "but it's going to be a lot of work."

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wake up call!

No need to worry! True to form just as I publish my last post Kevin gets online. So all is well..

No "wake-up call"

Just about every day Kevin will call me a little too early in the morning to chat about his day, tell me what's new with him and yes to wake me up. My husband is like a kid on Christmas Morning... umm, well EVERYDAY! That is just his style. When he wants something, he wants it and there is really no stopping him. That is something that I've learned about him over some time. Sometimes it's cute, sometimes it's annoying. Especially when he's calling as he does early in the AM when I had trouble sleeping the night before. I can tell you today though, I don't find his child like excitement more annoying than when the phone doesn't ring. When our soldiers are gone we find comfort in the daily habits and rituals we create. When the habits are broke and rituals don't take place, I become unsettled. Today, I find my brain overwhelmed with questions: Why didn't he call? Is he out on a recovery mission? Is he safe/ok? I wonder when I'll hear from him again..? Well, this is just the nature of the beast (like I haven't said that before). So reverting back to my last blog I'll have to just keep my mind positive (and preoccupied).

So on with my day... I have bills to pay, errands to run, and maybe I'll work out again.

"HAPPINESS IS A HABIT No matter how positive you are, everything is NOT going to go your way.. WE MUST be ready to make the most of every situation that comes our way. DO NOT let minor annoyances and problems ruin your day. The difference between happy positive people and unhappy negative people is the willingness to change and adjust our attitudes in any and every situation.... Have a positive day! :-) God is Love, Rev Run "

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Positive Thoughts...

As of lately I've been getting kind of down. I am thinking that it has a lot to do with the fact that Kevin is gone. I know a lot of women just automatically assume the responsibilities in their households. Us women, take care of the home, the kids, the phone calls, and appointments... What needs to happen just somehow gets taken care of. Well, maybe I'm completely off base with this assumption; maybe not. I know a lot of wives that take care of all the above, and then some. When Kevin is gone I'm forced to deal with all the normal, mundane things that need to be handled (bills, housework, our beast, ect), along with my husband’s issues (this list is long, overwhelming, frustrating, and even unnecessary), and not to mention trying to find a job, decide what I want to be when I grow up and how to attain my career choice (whatever that may be). I've always thought of myself as efficient if nothing else. I am very "mission minded," if I have a task to complete, I take care of it and move onto the next. All the same, being forced to deal with everything lately has kind of hit me like a brick wall. Nothing has been panning out... so considering that I'm the one dealing with everything and nothing is working out the way it should be- or was planned to, I feel like a failure. I've failed at accomplishing any of my own goals, as well as the mutual goals Kevin and I agreed to for this deployment.

So, here I am, with all my failures in tow... How could I possibly rectify them? This is my first thought- if you break something; you fix or replace it, right? If life were so easy, I could simply fix or change these “failures”. But, we all know life is anything but easy! So I'm thinking that I shouldn't let not reaching goals or successfully completing certain tasks bring me down indefinitely. Instead I'm thinking that I should work on changing my thought process. I should dedicate myself to the real, more important things in life. Focus on the things I have control over... change my life while working on changing my thought process. We have to stay positive day-to-day. The people that I admire most are those that always seem to have a smile on their face (not that naive, ignorant smile, but a smile earned through life experience). No matter how much life beats them up or knocks them down, they push through the pain and come out the other side with peace and wisdom. My Great-Aunt Dolly for instance. She is an absolute joy to be around. She laughs a lot; she's one of these women that make you happier merely by being in the presence of her happiness. I want to be more like her... So I'm committed to being more positive. I've heard Oprah talk about putting positive energies out into the universe and good things will come to you. So I'm going to work on embracing that. OH! not to say that you don't have to work hard for success! I think we're all on the same page out there?!

Staying positive and working hard will earn me (us) success! :)

Monday, March 9, 2009

FRG

I'm starting to discover my life isn't all that interesting. So far I'm only moved to blog once a week. Well, it is what it is. Besides most people don't have the time to read or check in with multiple blogs every single day so, in theory I'm helping them out by not blogging constantly. Right? That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Today was a good day, I'm happy to report! Of course I was extra sleepy because our clocks "sprang forward" an hour this morning. But, I started my day with an FRG Meeting. For those of you who are not familiar with this acronym the FRG, is the Family Readiness Group. The FRG is meant as a source of information for the families of our soldiers. While our spouses are deployed the FRG is in contact with Commanders in order to receive the must up to date information. The Commanders let the FRG leaders know what is happening with our soldiers and what is in the pipeline so that we can relay information accordingly. A few days back I was contact by the FRG leader for Delta Troop, 1-10 Cav and asked if I would mind helping out the FRG by becoming a Point of Contact (POC) for our troop. I agreed, and attended the meeting this morning. We received our phone rosters and discussed upcoming troop FRG meetings and other events. It was nice to meet some other Army Wives, I feel more involved now and I think it will really help me survive the rest of the deployment! :) So I'll keep everyone updated on my FRG happenings! *** For family and friend's Kevin will be getting a new address so please do not send any more mail... I'll get the new address to you as soon as possible! ***

Oh, and when I did get home my husband's dog had completely devoured his new $30 leather leash! Brody, is officially in the "dog house".

Saturday my neighbor and "homie" Nikki deployed to Baghdad, Iraq. Whether she knew it or not she really helped me to stay sane and continue to feel useful, and wanted since Kevin left last fall. Since she was just right across the street we wound up seeing each other a few times a week. We would stop by and shoot the shit, she'd tell me about her woes at work (she is a person that really is not designed to sit at a desk all day... she had many woes!), I'd gossip about other people's lives (because I obviously don't have one- ha ha), we'd go to dinner, or run errands. It's really nice to not have to go to Wal-mart or a restaurant alone. So I'm going to miss her! She'll be home just after Kevin gets back, so I guess it's not too bad...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Bachelor

Sometimes it’s nice to just escape from our personal dramas and the day-to-day hustle and bustle into some good ol' fashion reality TV. I don't watch or TiVo "The Bachelor" every Monday night. I was watching something that I had recorded and when it was over and I went back to live TV I caught the last 4 minutes of the season finale. Well here's the scoop: Jason (the "bachelor"), proposed to Melissa she took the honker of the ring, screamed, jumped up and down, and accepted his proposal! They looked adorable and happy as they jumped into the pool fully clothed with Jason's son (looked about 5...). Well, evidently they have an "After the Final Rose" episode, so that we can all find the scoop and what has happened in the 6 weeks since the proposal episode. The host is talking with Jason and he's all teary-eyed so there is some suspenseful twist coming... DUM DUM da DUM!! Jason tells the casual host man that since he proposed to Melissa things have changed and he just doesn't feel the same for her anymore, and that over the last few weeks he hasn't been able to stop thinking about Molly (the broad whom he dumped for Melissa)! GASP! So getting to the point, Melissa joins Jason on stage and he breaks her heart, she gives him the honker of a ring back and gives him a piece of her mind! He's talking about how you can't live with regrets... and she mutters "you bastard!” The Host eventually excuses himself so that Melissa and Jason can say goodbye. So Melissa leaves and Molly comes out. Jason tells her that he broke up with Melissa and was hoping that they could go out for drinks or coffee and see where things go. She was thoroughly shocked, but eventually accepted his invitation for a date and to "see where things go."
Through all of this malarkey there were a few things that actually managed to surprise me. I definitely sympathized with Melissa and understood where her anger would come from. She said a lot of things that made sense and are normal for heartbreak. While Jason was breaking up with her and trying to explain himself spewing all kinds of cliché sentiments such as, "If could change the way I feel, I would, but I can't." "You have to follow your heart." ect, ect, ect... Well Melissa's response was, so you can't help the way you feel but you put a ring on my finger and that is supposed to matter but you won't fight for me or our relationship. That's the part that hurts the most when relationships end, the reality that, that other person doesn't or didn't care enough to fight for you or to wade out this phase of your life for things to return to what they once were. My heart broke for her. She also told Jason, that the process of getting engaged is a once in a lifetime moment that he’s ruined for her now- that he took that experience from her.

On the other hand I was genuinely impressed by Molly. She was talking with the host and telling him that she still loves Jason and that if Jason had called or showed up on her doorstep and told her that he'd made a mistake she would give him a second chance. But upon hearing those exact same sentiments she was just shocked. Her first verbal response was "But what about Melissa?", looked around the studio, at the host, just waiting for someone to tell her it was a joke... it had to be hard to believe! I thought it was very classy and admirable of her to first think of Melissa. She appears to be a very sweet, compassionate and caring person. I think a lot of people in her shoes would have been mad at Jason, or if not mad than would have just been over the moon and never gave a second though to Melissa.
Sometimes you meet person, or know people, or see a stranger on TV and wish you could be more like them- possess one of their personality traits. I sincerely admire Molly's kindness and class. I wish I could be more like her. This is not something I would have ever thought I would say about a “character” on a reality show. I just hope that one day when I am thoroughly floored by something that I hear I manage to muster the same class, grace and diginty I saw from Molly.Huh... life manages to surprise us every day! :)

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Quality Time With My Sister!

Yesterday was a busy day. In the morning Brody and I ventured off for round two of Doggie Training school. Sadly, Bob wasn't present so I still have no idea why we were held after school on our first day. Trent, the head trainer was there- we like him! Trent said that you can tell is he definitely learning but we need to incorporate more distractions while we practice at home! I was so happy to hear that. Practice kind of went downhill the last part of this week. Wednesday practice was canceled (at home) because I was not feeling well at all! Then Thursday and Friday he was being very rebellious, eating the leash, not listening, or performing any of the commands I gave him. I was extremely frustrated Friday night. I thought for sure I would go to class on Saturday morning and they would tell me that I wasn't practicing with him, and it was all my fault... yadi-yada-yada! But, thankfully it didn't turn out that way!

So after Doggie Training School I had to come home clean out my car, straighten up the house, and fix myself for the Rascal Flatts concert in Denver. My sister asked me a month or so ago if I wanted to get tickets.. I like Rascal Flatts but wasn't super excited about it, but all the same I said, "Yes." On the way up to Denver we were listening to one of their greatest hits CD's and I didn't know that many songs... so here we were venturing north and having spend X amount of dollars on these tickets and I only knew 4 songs on that CD. I thought I was going to be bored witless! Well, Katie and I had planned to make a day out of the concert and have a nice dinner and everything before hand, tool around downtown Denver for a while... We stopped at Park Meadows Mall, just south of Denver and walked around, hit up the Coach store and both got makeovers at MAC it was fun. We decided on dinner at PF Changs, where Katie had never been before. We had barely enough time to eat dinner- no desert and run out of there. We parked and went right to our seats it was perfect! We were in the first section above the floor, which is awesome because you don't have to fight to see through anyone in front of you (people have big heads… which really get in the way at things like this, HAHA), the seats were great! Jessica Simpson opened up for them. She sort of sucked. Looked great, but screamed when she sang and didn't enunciate, which made it very hard to understand what she was saying. She had the most ridiculous heals on!
So, Rascal Flatts had a very interesting entrance: kind of this meteor crashing sequence and when it "hit" there was a loud BANG! It was hilarious EVERYONE in the place jumped! They put on a great show, and I knew all the songs except for 2 I think.. so it was worth more of the money than I had originally thought!
Also, I spotted John Elway in the crowd and pointed him out to my sister and the lady next to me. Pretty interesting to see him shake his ass! Him and his wife are definitely still 'into' each other, if you know what I mean! hehehe.. Good for them!
Well, the concert was a great idea sis, and we had an amazing time… at least I did! THANKS!