Monday, March 30, 2009

US vs THEM *response...

Dear Casey,
I suppose I should start by saying I didn't address you personally in an open and honest discussion, because I didn't realize you were so vein (as the song goes) to think this "song" was about you. Well, I thought it would be a good song reference there... Honestly, (if that's what we're going for) your blog played a part in yesterday's post but not in its entirety. If you notice I didn't wait for your response to my question in regard to your husband's deployments, or lack thereof. Also, you aren't the only conservative AF wife blogging about their woes, or life overseas.

Well, thank you for proving the point I was trying to make. This is simple logic, (and sense you've opened yourself up for discussion) your husband hasn't served in the same capacity as mine. Now, this doesn't mean Airmen (your husband, my father, Nikki even) aren't entitled to respect. I'm pretty sure I never said not to respect, or flat out disrespect them, but I digress. I respect my father, but not because he service in the military/AF makes him a "warrior" or a "hero", but because he is a good and hard working man with morals and personal integrity- just as I'm sure your husband is. Military service does not automatically entitle one to the title of "hero." There are soldiers and Marines that I feel aren't heroic... soldiers and Marines whom dodge their duty to deploy with twisted ankles and other lame excuses. These same soldiers and Marines are not heroes. Your husband's service is to be respected, but so is mine. The differences in their military careers need to be appreciated as well.

This is where my issue comes into play. You have not yet been where I've been; nor your husband been to where mine has. Depending on your husband’s job he will likely not see a war front during the course of his career- this is not disrespect, it is fact, or truth. The fact that mine has dealt with the summer heat in the desert of Iraq three times during the course of his short time [so far] in the Army, and that I have laid in an empty bed night after night... and held the hand of another Army Wife in the middle of the night during the first months of the war in Iraq, while she sobbed through her fears that she would never really get to begin her life with her new husband.... while she hoped for his safe return but fought of thoughts of his horizontal return in a flag draped coffin. These are the realities...

Personally, I would prefer wives who have not suffered through the agony of a deployment (and who very well may not have to) should appreciate the fact that someone like myself has. Be thankful that you have your husband next to you every night and home for dinner on most occasions. I would prefer you and your husband count your blessings, versus feeling entitled to the same glory, respect and recognition as those have been through the experiences that have EARNED the parades, and appreciation.

As for the TDY vs DEPLOYMENT issue... The AF has labeled visits from weeks up to 3 months (even more) to the places I listed as "deployments". I am glad to hear that even though the AF may consider these deployments you do not. But, there are other AF spouses and Airmen alike who have embarked on these vacations (ha ha.. comic relief...! no? anyway) and feel that because the AF has labeled it a deployment that they too have risked their lives and are deserving of something close to the accolades my husband has received.

All of the above is why I have hoped (and will continue to) that the ladies like yourself (and your husband’s) will appreciate the differences in service. I suppose my attempt to point out these differences could be viewed as confrontational, petty, or argumentative. You and some others may think it isn't worthy of comparison. But I do...

I hope that you and your husband continue to enjoy your time in Europe. You have taken some beautiful pictures by the way! And if your husband should have to deploy (even beyond Saudi, or Qatar; these places too should almost not be considered deployments.. malls, civies, pools... almost reminiscent of Orlando, hmm.), may God be with him, but not till then will either of you truly understand what I’m trying so desperately to convey.



Casey said...

I suppose we will have to agree to disagree.

Anonymous said...

We are set to leave late June/early July time frame. It's going to be a sad day! I love Italy!