As of lately I've been getting kind of down. I am thinking that it has a lot to do with the fact that Kevin is gone. I know a lot of women just automatically assume the responsibilities in their households. Us women, take care of the home, the kids, the phone calls, and appointments... What needs to happen just somehow gets taken care of. Well, maybe I'm completely off base with this assumption; maybe not. I know a lot of wives that take care of all the above, and then some. When Kevin is gone I'm forced to deal with all the normal, mundane things that need to be handled (bills, housework, our beast, ect), along with my husband’s issues (this list is long, overwhelming, frustrating, and even unnecessary), and not to mention trying to find a job, decide what I want to be when I grow up and how to attain my career choice (whatever that may be). I've always thought of myself as efficient if nothing else. I am very "mission minded," if I have a task to complete, I take care of it and move onto the next. All the same, being forced to deal with everything lately has kind of hit me like a brick wall. Nothing has been panning out... so considering that I'm the one dealing with everything and nothing is working out the way it should be- or was planned to, I feel like a failure. I've failed at accomplishing any of my own goals, as well as the mutual goals Kevin and I agreed to for this deployment.
So, here I am, with all my failures in tow... How could I possibly rectify them? This is my first thought- if you break something; you fix or replace it, right? If life were so easy, I could simply fix or change these “failures”. But, we all know life is anything but easy! So I'm thinking that I shouldn't let not reaching goals or successfully completing certain tasks bring me down indefinitely. Instead I'm thinking that I should work on changing my thought process. I should dedicate myself to the real, more important things in life. Focus on the things I have control over... change my life while working on changing my thought process. We have to stay positive day-to-day. The people that I admire most are those that always seem to have a smile on their face (not that naive, ignorant smile, but a smile earned through life experience). No matter how much life beats them up or knocks them down, they push through the pain and come out the other side with peace and wisdom. My Great-Aunt Dolly for instance. She is an absolute joy to be around. She laughs a lot; she's one of these women that make you happier merely by being in the presence of her happiness. I want to be more like her... So I'm committed to being more positive. I've heard Oprah talk about putting positive energies out into the universe and good things will come to you. So I'm going to work on embracing that. OH! not to say that you don't have to work hard for success! I think we're all on the same page out there?!
Staying positive and working hard will earn me (us) success! :)