Once upon a time I used to blog quiet a bit. These days I'm lucky if I post once a week... you're missing me aren't you?
Sadly, I haven't had anything nice to say. I'm stressed with this crap-tastic job I find myself in and the future. I'm stressed from being in Colorado, sans husband. I generally feel detached from my life. I feel detached from my role as a spouse, the Army, and our plans for the future. Please do not misunderstand, I'm not announcing a divorce... I'm not admitting to doing bad things in the absence of my husband... What my point is, is that I don't find being away from my home and my things and obligations to be a positive thing at this specific moment. Long story, short: Running home during deployment (although, never my goal but where I wound up) is not a good thing. I find it to be counter-productive. Being here and this feeling of detachment is creating emotional distance between Kevin and I. I couldn't quite put my finger on the problem the last few weeks but there it is.
I feel like it's my fault. So then I beat myself up over it... you know, because that's so productive. Well, I'm working on it. Trying to turn a corner.
I was hoping that some alone time on R&R would help... doesn't look like there'll be a whole lot of that. :( boo. We'll work something out though. I'm sure of it.
What do you do when you start to feel the distance of a deployment??