Friday, August 14, 2009


Basically I am a NO-Nonsense kinda gal. Often times I come off as mean or blunt or completely insensitive. I also think that we all (me included) need a healthy dose of perspective a lot of the time. With that being said it kind of gets on my nerves when people pitch fits about how tough their lives are. Or how tough their life is about to me. Seriously? I don't want to pretend that "mine is somehow bigger than yours" (if you know what I mean) but here's the benefit of simple acceptance: Acceptance that no matter how dark and dreary you think things are or how scared you are of what's just around the corner, things can always get worse! We all choose to be where we are in our lives (or whats coming next)... so I don't feel bad for you.
I really struggle with people who complain about their circumstances constantly. Personally, I accept full responsibility for my choices and my life. I'm not a victim. I am the wife of a United States Soldier. While this isn't always easy, it is what a chose... bitching, whining and complaining will not change my circumstance.
I've met many new military wives who bitch, whine and complain about how their spouse/significant other is deploying, in the field or {god forbid} working late. huh? Again... I ask "Are you serious?" WHY? Deployments aren't fun... they aren't easy... and I do believe you have to be a special kind of woman to make it through. But I'll say it again:
None of us are victims!
The best milspouse survival tip I have is that when it gets tough... it will get tougher... but (as cliche as it is) when the times get tough the tough get tougher! At some point you have to just dig down deep and suck it the hell up! Some may ask "How?" There really isn't an answer for that. You just do it! People have done it before you-- so it can be done. Therefore, SO CAN YOU! That was meant to be encouragement.
I think we've all seen that forwarded email about the guy who complains about the AC being out "while the soldier fights in Iraq"... about the guy who complains about his co-workers, "while the soldier fights in Iraq"... so on and so forth. The point being that our soldiers have it pretty rough and {the way I see it} others take a little bit more time out of their days to count their/our blessings and to also appreciate the sacrifices made by our military. People have gotten pissy in the past when I've pointed out the differences in military service. Even within the Army there are differences. I am personally very grateful for options and opportunities that Kevin and I have been given throughout the course of this deployment. I know that I have been extremely luck to have talked to Kevin practically everyday while he's been gone. There are a lot of couples (a lot of the blogs that I read included) who aren't as lucky. This is my healthy dose of perspective! My husband and brother-in-law are both mechanics. My b-i-l was "lucky" enough to be assigned to an engineer battalion... my husband has always been in Cav regiments. They support different missions. My husband is currently completing his 3rd deployment to Iraq. While my b-i-l is about half way through his fourth total deployment (2 in Iraq, this is 2nd in Afghanistan). Levi (b-i-l) doesn't have the ability/option to call home nearly as often as Kevin. Perspective is amazing. Extremely humbling.
I wish that others would help themselves to some perspective more often. It's not easy to do... hell I'm not always the best at it, but that's why I surround my self with people stronger than myself. People who I know and love. People who will smack me back down when I am not strong enough to do it for myself.
Sorry if anyone is offended.


Crazy Shenanigans said...

This was great! No really. I was standing in line today after getting groceries and I heard this woman go, " husband is leaving tomorrow and he won't be back until Sunday night." Her friend went:"Oh no, what are you going to do all by yourself??"

They had these horrified looks on their face. I wanted to slap her. Omg..not a whole 3 days?!?! Try a year lady! Try a year! People never cease to amaze me.

my life isnt easy but its the only one i got said...

Babe I can understand your frustrations it gets on my nerves also.

jenn said...

girl -- i love this post!!!

i get so frustrated esp when i'm on fb and these ppl complain about the husbands being gone for 2 or 3 days....i'm thinking to myself -- are you serious?

i have been in conversations before when ppl have said this that don't know me very well -- then they say....what does your husband do? just recently i could answer -- well, he's been in iraq since october!!! the look on their faces is pricelss!!!
but, what i hate is when ppl ask you -- how do you do it? just do it! what else can you do!!

oh.....i could go on an on!!!

thank you for writing this post!!
i love knowing i have others out there in blogland that can relate to what we are going through!!!

Lauren B. said...

ummm yeah.....there is one particular person that i have in mind that needs to read this! good for you for saying what many people need to hear!

JG said...

This IS encouraging! What a new Army wife like myself needed to hear. At least once a day I fight the urge to ask myself, "Can I really do this?" And I just need to know, yes, it can be done. So don't ever apologize for "keeping it real," to beat a phrase to death. It's what we all need to see - and say.