Bad rap

Anyone else frustrated by the rap "Army Wives" have? I know I am. Not all Army Wives cheat on their deployed spouse, steal all their money, have 6 kids by the time they're 22, are uneducated, lazy and severely obese. I'm annoyed that we always get such a bad freaking rap! I'm over it. I know that I define myself. I know that I am not limited by my stereotypes, I don't have to allow myself to be- anyway.

Here's the thing the bad apples have been running rampant recently:

From a bloggers blunt and unnecessary claim that 'Guard spouses aren't real Army Wives (and their Guardsmen husbands aren't real soldiers). Yea peeps that made it to Military.com. Then more recently this business of KIA Notifications via Facebook/Texts. Which also warranted a response from SpouseBUZZ, here. The title is, "Army: Spouses to Blame for KIA Notification Fail." Yup, it's just 'us' right? I cringe to say that.

I whole heartedly disagree. This broad who ran her mouth "grief mongering" as Warrior Wife, so aptly described it, should be ashamed. But this is not a sweeping indication of all Army Wives. It's shameful that this woman did not have enough good sense to know not to say anything. Even if by some stretch of the imagination she thought this woman had already received her official notification I still do not understand the texting or FB status happening so soon. Personally, I air on the side of discretion. The last thing this spouse would want is people infringing on her grief. It isn't right.

Beyond that I resent the whole premise of the Spouse BUZZ article and the "Army" claim that this is entirely to blame on the Army spouses. It's sickening. Lets go back to how this broad got the information. Helloooo Commo Blackout-- Why isn't her soldier being crucified publicly? He should not have access to run his mouth, and his no-good-sense-having wife should not have ran hers either. It's wrong on every level.

Jacey suggested that notifications need to happen faster. I would also have to disagree with that whole heartedly. I feel that should the worst happen I don't want whomever is closest to my house in proximity banging down my door, or the God awful telegrams from We Were Soldiers. Nope, I want that black sedan and the Chaplain. This is not the fault of slow moving notifiers this is the fault of piss poor individuals with no self control. It's not "all Army wives" it's the individual whom needs some good sense smacked into them.

I've made my point-- who wants to count the number of times I said "good sense"?

You think I'd be used to it by now...

For some this military life comes as a complete shock. I was raised an Air Force brat (no pun intended, bahahaha), I have been military-affiliated my entire life. When I married Kevin I knew what I was in for. I knew that in the big-military-chain-of-command-picture no one cared about me. I know my place. I don't hope for special treatment. I don't call the FRG, or FRSA for a ride to the airport or to change my tire- as that is not their purpose. I was raised to be self-sufficient and handle my shiz as it came to me... with my big girl panties on and often times all by my lonesome. My Pops, being the wonderful guy he is taught me how to change my oil, and a flat tire, along with how to throw a punch and drive a stick. These are things every gal should know (at least in my opinion).

I am getting off topic....

My point is, there is a lot looming on the horizon for our humble little family. We will be welcoming our lil' babe the end of August/Beginning of September. However, we have another PCS looming. My husband is a member of one of the two units being 86'd from the EUCOM theater, as announced about ten days ago by Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, see here. We are moving and I would say with about 80% certainty it will be back to the US. We were visited by USAREU Commanding General earlier this month to discuss the coming changes to our small Post as well as the future of our unit. I am nervous about the projected timeframe. I am nervous about the lack of information. I am trying not to stress. Stress is bad juju for a preggers like myself. My amazing husband keeps telling me to let him deal with it- let him stress it. To his credit, he is doing everything he can to seek out new sources of information and relay that back to me.

Here's my problem. You would think by now with my lifetime of knowledge and experience I would be used to not being a priority. I know this for a fact, and accept it to be true. But, I suppose I still have no made peace with it. I'm pregnant. I will be unable to travel after 34 weeks, the end of July. This is my cause for stress. The nurse at my intake appointment in Landstuhl actually told me my husband may have to report to his next duty station and I'd have to remain in Germany to deliver our baby and meet up with him later. To sum up my response, it was something to the effect of "over my dead body!" it is possible I used at least one expletive.

Ideally, in my picture-perfect world, we would have orders in-hand (we all know that's crucial to getting anything accomplished in the military forum) already and have the ball rolling. This is sadly, not the case and no one knows anything- as per SOP in these situations. Basically, if I had it my way I would deliver this lil' bundle of joy in the states. However, pregnancy is not a disability and a newborn is not reason enough to get things the way I want them. You see, while pregnancy will restrict my travel time line, it does not mean I cannot travel with my babe in tow (you know, outside of my person). As much as I do not want (cue foot stomping and pouting) to worry about 10+ hours inside a trans-Atlantic flight with my baby, does not mean I will not have to and does not mean that it cannot be done. I will not be the first or the last to face this. I know I can handle it, I'm just really apprehensive about it.

Logically I just don't understand why I have to face my apprehensions head-on. Seeing as though some of the higher-ranking enlisted personnel have already seen their DEROS change received their new orders. Why them and not us? This is when I lose my patience, and fight the urge to get angry. Based on my knowledge that no one will advocate for us or our situation I have to accept this situation as it comes or make things happen for ourselves (or allow my husband to do so).

I know I have successfully proven to my 289 online-friends that I'm just a big ol' brat. But... aren't we all sometimes? While my apprehensions are not insurmountable they are legitimate and I'm sure other mommies out there can back me up!

Parenting

Since the hubs and I took our time having a family we had plenty of time to watch our family and friends have and begin to raise children of their own. We have learned a lot about how all children are different and that just because one style works in this household does not mean it will work in another. We have also noticed some pretty universal norms. We have taken the time where we were not actively trying to procreate to learn what we liked and what we felt could be done differently; also what would be priorities in a friends household may not be in ours, and vice versa.

At the end of the day what is the goal of parenting? I think there are many goals. For me, though I hope to raise intelligent, kind, hard-working, moral, productive members of society. I want to spend as much time nurturing as I do teaching. All of this will include discipline and structure. I want open communication with my children. I want them to have fun, worry-and-care-free childhoods filled with love and laughter. I hope to raise them with ambition and direction in life. I want them to have their own goals and want more for their adult lives and their future children than they had. I want them to strive for more but be thankful of all that they were given by their parents.

Parenting is the most blessed responsibility I will ever face. I will take it seriously. I will not allow my children to walk all over me. I will not be the mother being screamed at by their unruly toddler in the Wal-mart, demanding such-and-such toy with curse words and physicality. I've seen it happen far too often. I am not so superior to think my children will be born with manners, and respect. No- I know that it is my responsibility to teach my children these things. It is also my responsibility to teach them that money doesn't grow on trees, you have to earn what you get, and as hard as his/her parents will work to give them everything they want in life- they will not get everything they want. I also want to add, I know and fully expect my kid to throw a fit and embarrass the hell out of me in the Wal-Mart, and probably more than once. I also expect full well to show my child there are consequences for your actions.

Parenting will be a roller coaster (which BTW, I hate roller coaters). There will be good days and bad days. These kids will teach me things about myself that I would have otherwise never had the opportunity to learn. In the end I hope to have intelligent, kind, hard-working, moral, productive members of society to show for my efforts.

This is what parenting means to me.

What happened to Rome???!

You may not remember because of all the holiday hustle and bustle, but back on the 4th of January I told everyone that we had booked a trip to Rome. We did in fact, "book" this trip. Has anyone been wondering where the follow-up on that has been?? Wellllll... here's what happened:

Basically, I felt it would be more fun to hit up the ER than the Coliseum. I was up and heading towards the shower-- yup that's pretty much all I remember. I woke up on the floor in the hallway to my husband poking and prodding at me. He really thought I was just tired so I just randomly laid down in the hallway to go back night-night. I completely passed out though. There was not a conscious choice to lay down.

So we head to the ER and just as my husband had predicted I was dehydrated. I had to sit through multiple lectures about fluid intake. I get it.... I really do, I did and still know the importance of drinking lots and lots of water during pregnancy. The hubs and I were battling a cold. We were sleeping with the humidifier on and hubs said that I was hot and sweaty in the middle of the night when he rolled over to snuggle me (awwwww). So I'm thinking this was the culprit.

We spent a few hours in the ER and I received 2 liters of fluids the first went in within 10 minutes. It was FAST and I was all fixed up and good to go. I was left with a little headache but I was good to go. No major issues for me or babe! Sadly, we missed out on Italy/Rome. :( Better safe than sorry though.

5 things...

5 Things that are currently tweaking my mellon:

ONE: Heartburn. I realllly did not expect this nonsense first thing in the AM nor at 12 weeks. C'mon kid, cut your incubator a break.

TWO: Pin-up resurgancy. I just don't get it. I was not a fan when bell-bottoms reared their ugly heads about 10 years ago. It's just not cool. Leave trends and fads where they belong.

THREE: Military drawdown. I understand that we are winding down wars, therefore "war fighters" are needed in large numbers any longer. This makes logical sense. However, the idea of being without income as our family adjusts to a new baby is not good for the ol' stress levels!

I also don't like the idea of recruiting soldiers, asking them and their families to endure deployment after deployment then we'll just give them the boot. They won't be elligible for any additional benefits based on the nature of their service and the sacrifices they made. Just out- that's it, buh-bye! It's just sad and it's worrisome. While my husband isn't a "dirtbag" and hasn't had any trouble during his enlistment he is in an over-strength MOS and it's tough times for everyone. See the Army Times article regarding drawdown, who will be affected and how, HERE.

This also reminds me that the Air Force is cutting less personnel than the Army is cutting from their Civilian Corps. See the Stars and Stripes article HERE. I guess this comes back to the Air Force not being a service of "war fighters"... and good for them because they will endure and more personnel will keep their jobs but it does shine light on the differences.*

FOUR: Cravings that I don't understand. I'm craving something... I just can't figure out what it is! Maybe Tex-Mex. Maybe an ice cold Margarita (oh lawd). Maybe Brownie sundae. Maybe lemon (anything) cookies, cake, squares... I have always loved lemon anything (haha). Maybe iced tea. Maybe  cheesecake. See.... it's a big dilemma.

FIVE: The State of Mourning over Whitney Houston. I think that she was an amazing talent--- in her day! But seriously:

"Fending off fierce criticism for planning to lower flags at state buildings the day of Whitney Houston's funeral, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie said the late singer is not a role model but has earned the honor as a cultural icon."

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Annnndd, then CNN had live coverage of her funeral. I feel like that is an honor reserved for our presidents and such. I'm not saying she was untalented and a miserable human being. I'm just saying she's another celebrity whose suffered an untimely death. Those things don't earn her the honor of flying flags at half mast. I just disagree.

Chalk it up to hormones...?

*I'm not saying the Air Force sucks at life. I'm not saying the Air Force does not have ANY "war fighters" I'm saying that in light of these stories it proves the Air Forces' focus is elsewhere, ie: space and air defense. Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta even stated these were the focus of the Air Force during the Budget Request Review with the Appropriations Committee. Just to clarify so that I wasn't accused of bashing the AF.

The Great Stroller Debate

All babes need a stroller right? Well, duh! Of course they do. I have the benefit of being the last of allllll the peeps I know well to procreate. I've had the priveledge to get to know there lil' babes. I get to see what works and what doesn't work. And as a commenter said on the previous post, all babes are different. While one will LOVE the swing another will scream bloody murder. These are mines I will just have to dodge and see how our lil babe likes certain things. But there are certain things all babes will need!!

Traditionally people go the Travel System route:

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From what I understand the stroller from the travel system combo tend toward the bulky side and eventually wind up being exchanged for an umbrella stroller. 

Then we have this newish Snap-n-go beauty. Which are more compact and still feature the lower basket for all your random crapola. So here's where the debate comes into play. I know I need this:

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All of our most precious of cargo need an infant car seat right?! So here's what I suggested to the hubs. We get he above car seat PLUS:

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Then, I'm thinking this bad boy for when the kiddo gets a bit too heavy to be lugged around in the infant carrier:

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Here's the cause for discussion though. My husband thinks the snap-n-go is just spending more money than is necessary. He's old school (haha). The travel system is just the way to go. 

So, now I turn it over to you all!! What do you think of my plan of car seat+snap-n-go+umbrella stroller VERSUS travel system?? 

I'm having a problem...

When do I start buying baby stuff?

I'm having this problem... well many problems really. But mainly I have this urge to buy stuff for "the babe". Well, here in Germany they have a completely different style, very minimalist-modern. Just think Ikea. Well that's not my style. So whatever I get I pretty much have to buy through AAFES or via the interwebs. Also, AAFES does not have the best options on baby clothes. So it's kind of hard to find neutral baby clothes.

The other major is this little face that they are dismantling my husbands unit and we stand a chance of being back in the States before the baby comes. So how much stuff do I really want to buy here and transport back with us?

I'm thinking the smart bet is to just wait and see how orders play out. But, I don't wanna!

So far we've purchased a small package of Newborn diapers, the one not-awful neutral baby blanket from the PX and the Precious Moments prayer doll.


How early did you start buying baby loot? What did you buy?

This is why I haven't been blogging

Yep. This is what happens after a long deployment. We are expecting this lil' one 31 August! This ultrasound was taken today in Homburg. We elected to have the first trimester screening (which they do not conduct in Landstuhl) and thankfully I am cookin' up a healthy babe!!

It's been difficult for me to come up with other topics to blog about. Since I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow and that is the time the hubs and I agreed to "announce" our happy news!

The Voice

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Do you watch The Voice?
If you don't you really need to. This is only the second season so I'll forgive you if you aren't yet hooked by it. Sincerely, it's awesome. Don't listen to crotchety-old Randy Jackson. He made a comment in the media that The Voice is the show American Idol rejects go to. He's mistaken and as I said crotchety. Yes, they did have ex-American Idol contestants but lets be real... when was the last time an American Idol winner actually did anything productive with themselves?*

I love the blind auditions. They're so exciting and I love that the contestant gets to pick which coach they feel will be the most beneficial to them. Basically, I pretty much love everything about this show.

Outside of that the hubs and I have been passing this virus back and forth. Colds suck. Nothing you can do about it just have to wait them out. This one is really taking it's sweet-ass time!

*Not all winners of American Idol suck. But the most recent winners haven't really done anything. I love me some Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson rocked the national anthem. OH, and lets not forget Jennifer Hudson who wasn't even a winner and she has an Oscar!

Screw you USA TODAY

oh yeah, this Army Wife is pissed and highly resentful. Did you know that all soldiers are something to fear, they are all highly trained in tactical ops and "ticking bombs"- they're all psychos who will eventually explode. Wait- you didn't know? Well now you do.

We need to help train our police forces to deal with these "ticking bombs"; according to the USA Today article entitled "Police get help with vets who are ticking bombs".

On the other hand I adore Mr. Alex Horton. He responds to the USA Today article here, "Perpetuating the Erroneous “Ticking Bomb” View of Veterans":

"The ticking bomb metaphor, as inflammatory and unacceptable as it was, is a perfect term for this perception of an “increasing number of mentally ill suspects.” The melodramatic language conveys a surprising and violent event. A bomb is bad enough, but a ticking bomb? You never know when a ticking bomb will go off; that’s what’s so heinous, so destructive about it. You may not even now there’s a bomb at all. The only thing you do know is that it will explode at some point. The reader of this story, then—given a story so devoid of context and facts and appropriate measurements and statistics—is left to conclude all Veterans are walking powder kegs. They have always ticked, and it’s only a matter of time before an explosion."

Again I say... SCREW YOU USA TODAY. First, not all soldiers are receive the same amount of training. Not all are high speed, Jason Bourne-esque killing machines. Personally I know all kinds of soldiers, "high speed" ones, Airborne, Rangers, Special Forces, Engineers, Air Assault, Mechanics, Scouts, Infantrymen, various Admins, enlisted and officers and I can't say as I know any ticking bombs; not a single one is a one-track killing machine with no empathy for individuals or lacking respect for human life. You're simple-minded view is insulting.

Evidently I should fear the "ticking bomb" in bed next to me. Do you?