The Guilt and the Moving On

The Good-byes have started. Yesterday my dear, dear friends, Lauren and Erin hosted my "Bon Voyage" party. They're so great and I'm so blessed to have met them and to still call them great friends. They put together a very creative menu (and shin dig all around): Black Forest Ham, Kaiser Rolls, Strudel, Muenster cheese, Brats and German Chocolate Cake! Everything was delicious!

I thought this was such a great idea:

Address Book- For all attendees to write in so that I can keep in touch!

I was so excited to see everyone who showed up. I had some really good friends who said they were going to come but either blew me off or backed out at the last minute. It sucks when otherwise good friends disappoint you. I suppose it's just a fact of life.

The other part of all this leaving is that I'm seeing tears in other people's eyes, and I don't like it. I feel like I am the cause (source) of these people's sadness and I hate it! I've mentioned this every same thing to a few friends last night and they told me it's just because they love you so much! I know, it is and as I said in the beginning I'm grateful to have such great friends in my world who do care about me so much. But I like to think of my leaving as something I have to do for me and my future (and family), but thankfully (again) I have built such great relationships and have some really awesome people in my life that I will see them again. Right? I know sometimes people just say things like that and it doesn't happen (especially with us mil-folks) but I am not a person who will invest in other people that I don't care to ever see again. It's just not my style.

The guilt is just something I never saw coming. I knew it wouldn't be easy-breezy to leave, but I didn't expect guilt for goodness sake!