Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Lady Friends

Do you have a group of very close girl-friends?
Maybe I'm the only on the outside looking in on this phenomena.
Somehow I doubt that.
It's pretty much bothered me since... the Sex and the City movie came out that I didn't have a GROUP of strong always-there-for-you girlfriends.
Don't get me wrong. I do have friends. I do have girl-friends. I am just very envious of the group.
Doesn't this make sense to anyone else out there?
I suppose I could get my random girlie-friends together. Then, in theory I'd have a GROUP.
Something that about always goes arye doesn't it?
Someone gets jealous.
Someone starts talking non-sense about someone else.
This has always been my experience with any group of females. Big or small. Old or young.
Am I wrong?
Has this been your experience?
Where does the group come from? One outsider (me) bringing random females together? Or do you have to come up with the same group, organically?
Here's my problem...

I want this: 

Do you have a group? How'd you build it?
MilSpouses? Any specific advice when it comes to our unique pool of ladies to choose from? Enlisted verses Officer (personally I don't much care, if you're cool people than I'll kick it with just about anyone)? People constantly coming and going? How do you stay in touch? Does your group just GROW as you PCS? Or you still have that one group (such as the ladies above) that no one can penetrate?

I must go now. I have plans with Erin and MacKenzie. Chick-flick and SALAD.
We party HARD- evidently. WOO!


The Mrs. in Stilettos said...

I am so so soooo glad you feel this way too! I am in the same boat! So jealous of this group of ladies and what they have! That's all I've ever wanted and it never happens! It always boils down to women getting caddy and not being able to handle being friends with everyone :(

Sara said...

grrrr. I just wrote a comment and didn't realize I had to confirm it like 3 times before it posts.

I think the only people who have this type of group are sorority girls and civilians. In other words, people with a built-in group of friends and stay put.

I used to sorta have a group, but not really. I had an varied bunch of girl friends I hung out with individually. Ever since we've been in the Army though, we meet lots of people but I haven't found many people to get close to. Much less a group! So no, you're not alone in that.

Julie the Army Wife said...

In high school I had a group kinda like this but now it really is no more. Makes me sad sometimes. I had close friends in college but then I graduated and things changed. Since I have been an Army wife I have had a few close friends but then that changed. Right now I have a best buddy and then more causal friends.

I don't know how often it really happens and we have it harder since we move around so much.

Lisa said...

I've never had a group of friends like that. I moved around a bunch growing up (non military), and although there was a group in high school, I was only truly close to two of them.

Since then, I don't even have ONE close girlfriend. I'm still in touch with my high school best friend, and it's awesome, but we see each other maybe once a year, maybe less.

I guess I sort of hope that I'll find that among the milspouses, because none of my friends can truly understand or appreciate just what I'm going through. I guess I'll find out when things get more permanent between P and I.

It's hard, especially now when I want to have a girlie night, I don't have a friend to call to come over and watch a sappy movie with me. I guess it's something to get used to, since the way it looks, there are many more moves in my future.

Expat Girl said...

I am so glad you wrote this post! I feel like I had that group of girlfriends back in London/ Spain. Yes of course there are always going to be ups and downs when you get a group of hormonal women together but we had so much fun together and I loved every minute of it. Now that I am here, this is one of the biggest things I miss and I am searching for THAT group of girls to get back in my life. For now though, skype and facebook are keeping me in contact with my London girls and army is making it hard for me to establish myself anywhere!

JG said...

I'm the same way! I've tried for two years now (literally, I remember the salient moment when I sat down and committed to working on building more relationships) to try and get myself a "group." Two years later, still working on it. I don't know, maybe there are girls like that out there. Maybe they already have their groups and I just don't fit in them. Right now, it feels like my "group" are my bloggy buddies, which may be why I'm addicted to them. :)

Kayla said...

Maybe I'm one of those weird girls that always does have a "girls group". I don't know. I feel like everytime I move I always get into another one. I have my girls from college, and now I have my girls from Fort X. The Fort X girls are all officer's wives, and we all volunteer in FRGs. Two are or were FRG leaders, and one is on her way to being a FRSA so maybe that's how we all kind of... got together? I don't know. I can't imagine not having the group mentality. I don't think we fight about anything. Maybe a little lighthearted talking about one another, but always in jest. We would do anything for one another at the drop of a hat. I expect it only to grow once deployment gets here... But then again we are always growing too! It's not like clique no one is allowed to penetrate. Every new girl in our FRG usually ends up hanging out with us once, or longer. Interesting question...

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Sam!!! You can be in my circle of girlfriends! I think I met most of my really close girlfriends in college. A few since working but mostly I met them years ago. It's hard to find new friends as an adult...

Erin said...

I miss having a group of girlfriends. Haven't had one since high school. But with the group usually comes more drama.

Samantha the ArmyWife said...

I love that I'm not the only one who feels this way!

Anyone else notice that there is some random female on the left of the picture? That's me. lol. not literally. But on the outside, thinking "I wish I had that!"... ha haa.

d.a.r. said...

I have had, at certain points, a big group of girlfriends. And it always always evolves into way too much drama for me!!!

Mrs.Cass said...

My husband was deployed when I moved to our first duty station. I was SO scared that I would not make any friends, and even those that could potentially be my friend would not like me once they found out how young I was. I thought I was going to have to spend two months alone, in a new state, with no friends!Luckily, facebook is the dating world for army wives, and I joined the FtBragg Army wives group. From there I met a few girls, three of which became my closest friends here. The four of us always hang out, and it's great! I've seen many instances though, where girls will double up, and the rest feel very left out and excluded. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we won't encounter any problems, we all have the same goals and aren't interested in drama like so many other wives I've seen are. The only thing I am afraid of, is that we are becoming so close, and at any moment one of our husbands could have to leave and we'd be split apart. Would we be able to keep that friendship? I really don't know..and that is what scares me the most:(

A Lady in Waiting said...

This a very good question which you have brought up. I have usually had a group of girl-friends that I hung out with...but when you are a military wife it can be difficult to form those bonds. I am currently "just" a girlfriend, he's deployed, and I'm living near my hometown and in school, so I've gotten close to a group of girls in school. So this is not really something I'm dealing with right now.

However, I'm an Army brat, and I know that my mom still has friends that she made at each post we lived at. I don't think she necessarily had a large group of friends, but she would become friends with a few women whose husbands work with my father or who had kids my age or my brother's. This meant that she already had something in common with them. It's hard to just randomly meet people and hit it off. Stay strong ladies...and even if you don't have a group of women to spend time with like in Sex and the City (which let's be honest...that'd be pretty great) find somebody you can talk to and who can help you/you help them get through life as a military wife/girlfriend. The best thing in the world is to know that you have somebody to talk to, and although you have your significant other, that doesn't always work when they are deployed. And even if you don't continue being best friends with these women after one of you leaves, keep in touch and you never know...you could end up in the same place again down the road!