Sunday, August 9, 2009

Frustrated. Disappointed. Lonely.

As previous stated the FRG meeting earlier was completely unhelpful. I hate this. I was sincerely hoping they would provide something useful. I think you can understand my frustration, anger and disappointment I felt when all I was provided was an 8 day window! Now I am forced to make a more realistic guess for my MIL. So that hopefully she and my FIL would be in town for the Homecoming Ceremony. I hate the idea of having to take full responsibility for my husband's Mother's attendance at his 3rd Homecoming Ceremony. What if I'm wrong and she misses it? UGH! I am ridiculously over all of this Army BS.
I get the importance of OPSEC. Hence why we have the secure FRG website. With this secure site why couldn't they give us the exact date? Why sit and make us stew on this, wondering and above all GUESSING. It's sick. The Commanders down-range know when they are leaving their FOB, when they're getting to Kuwait... hmmm so why wouldn't they know WHAT day they're leaving Kuwait and therefore returning to Post? Tell me (for example) they'll be home the 28th; being that I'm a reasonable minded individual I understand that they may get delayed somewhere along the route and they may not make it home until the 29th. See, now was that so hard?
My bitching and complaining will get me no where. I will be stuck waiting and hoping my guess was accurate enough and Kevin will see his mother's and step-fathers smiling faces amongst the crowd at this, his 3rd Welcome Home Ceremony!
Sleeping has become quite the chore as of late. The anticipation coupled with the lack of information makes me extremely uneasy, come bed time. Plus, a year of sleeping a lone has just taken it's tole on me. I'm over it.
As stated in this post I have an issue with paranoia (see #5). When Kevin and I got married than bought our home I insisted on a security system. Some people have alarms in their homes as a standard; I did not. But when I chose to marry a soldier that meant, field rotations, NTC and most notably deployments. Long story-short: I was going to be alone quite a bit. Left alone+paranoia= this-girl-gets-an-alarm!
Lately... the alarm is falling short on the piece-of-mind category. Instead I wake up in the middle of the night to the dog snoring or shifting his weight outside the bedroom door and immediately freak out. Thought #1: I wish Kevin were here. Thought #2: IF someone is there, what do they want? Thought #3: "SAM! Stop thinking like that! No one is there. If someone were there the siren would be baring!" Thought #4: I wish Kevin were here. Thought #5: I sleep much more soundly when I sleep next to my husband. Thought #6: I wish Kevin were here.
Life right now... consists a lot of frustration, disappointment and loneliness.


Crazy Shenanigans said...

Aw, I'm sorry all you have is a window but a window is better than nothing. Hang in there girl!

jenn said...

girl -- i understand all about the sleepless nights!!! i don't remember the last time i fell asleep before midnight -- oh wait, it was when the hubby was home on r & r and i slept like a baby!!!!

just know -- this will all be over soon!!!


Amie said...

I know how disappointing it can be when they won't tell you more than what they tell. Maybe as it gets closer they will give a more specific time frame.

JennyMac said...

Hang in there...and I hope Kevin is home soon!

High Heels & Combat Boots said...

sorry peaches :(
and i'm not gonna be one of THOSE runners. I just want to say i did something active. If I did a 5k though, i should seriously get a trophy. that's a lot for me

Lauren B. said...

yes, i sleep just a little more peacefully knowing that i have a security system. they are nice to have!

Laura said...

I totally understand your frustration. I really dislike the whole hush hush these meetings give. I was so upset I went to an FRG meetings last rotation just so they can say absolutely NOTHING. However much longer he has, it's a day closer than yesterday. And you have convinced me to get an alarm system once we get our house! ;)