Saturday, April 18, 2009

Loneliness

When Kevin is gone it’s just me and Brody in this house. I'm not sure what the rest of your situations are, if you are living with family or have a roommate... But for those of you who are in my same situation when your husband’s leave I think you will get this perfectly. I wrote earlier this week about how my neck was hurting and I didn't want to be alone and how I feel like an inconvenience for the family that I have nearby. Well, this after noon (after a few days of on-and-off snow and all businesses and military in this area closing early for more snow today) I was feeling lonely again. I think after 7 months and 15 days loneliness is bound to creep up on a girl. Really, it's not a matter of getting through the days and nights... but it's about having someone in the same room with you. Not because you need to be having a passionate discussion about world peace or anything but just the presence of another person counts for a lot. For a while there I had Nikki to help with this problem. Really, she was just across the street and we would stop by and bull-shit a few times a week about life and it would turn into "I wanna see this movie that's coming out." or "I gotta get to Wally-world this weekend." and the other would say, "oh yeah I gotta go there too" or "I wanna see that two"... so we sorta started this casual platonic-dating situation... just joking peoples. All the same I wasn't having to do EVERYTHING by myself all the time.. and that was FAN-fucking-tastic!
Well Nikki left me for hotter climates over a month ago... I knew it was coming, and really all my loneliness isn't on her shoulders! I do have my parents, my sister and her family, and my aunt/uncle and cousins in town as well. So with all of this how does this Army wife find time to get bored or lonely? Well, I'm not a person that reaches out when I'm down very easily... and my family does spend time with me it just doesn't always coincide with my feelings of loneliness! So I can't expect them to be available at all times, in all weather for whenever I should possibly need someone in the room with me right? See, I am very reasonable person and respectful that others have lives to lead. All the same... doesn't make those days and hours where I could really use the presence of another human being any easier. They pass eventually though! Here's to getting through another lonely night on our own! What proud, strong Army wives we make! :)

Ciao now brown cow...

2 comments:

liberal army wife said...

doesnt matter how strong we are, what a great group we are - sitting alone is just that, being alone. I don't have family here, but I doubt that having them here(just my folks, I don't have siblings) would do anything. Lonely, is lonely. We reach out here on the net, because there are others like us, awake at all hours, looking at a screen and hoping that our husband will be there for a minute, we can connect.

If it helps, you aren't alone - we're here. I came over from My Life as an Army Wife. I'm in the same alone - he's only been gone 3 months this time around. So just yell if you need a chat.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Some days you just have to have human interaction and someone to talk to about your problems. When there's not someone around who's going through what you are or someone who just can't understand it can be hard. I've been there. I still have those days.
I have 6 more months on this deployment. If you need someone just give me a shout out.