Wednesday, April 15, 2009

[IN]dependence...

Earlier today I went and saw Monsters vs. Aliens with my sister, Nephew, my dad and his girlfriend Terri. It was really funny... I love with they've done with animated movies! Well, while we were at the movie I felt my neck starting to get stiff and achy... this was about Noon. It's now 810 PM and I'm in serious pain people! I've had these kinds of pains before so I popped a Flexilrol a few hours ago again- nada... still hurts and I'd even say it's getting worse. Here's my dilemma: I have quite bit of family in town and here's one day that I would really prefer not to be alone- but why call? I don't need help? And I don't think anyone would be ok with being taken away from their families because my person hurts. I wish I had the single friend with no kids and really no other responsibilities that I could call and they could come hang out, keep me company... but unfortunately I feel like all the peoples that I know have better things to do than sit on my couch watching TV; wondering what the heck they're doing here and what my issue is.

A lot of people who find out that I was raised here in Colorado Springs are quick to tell me how lucky I am that my family is here while Kevin is deployed. I understand the idea of that, but at the same time I feel like whenever I am sick of being all alone and could use someone's company that these people really wouldn't understand or make themselves available for me. Which sounds sort of uppity on my part... but really that is me cutting my relatives some slack. They have people around constantly- their own people who share their lives and they all deserve some respect and consideration. So while I may be lucky to be around family if say I am rushed to the hospital, because I know every single member of my family would be there in a situation like that... I really don't feel like I have a person that I can call just because I could use the company.

That's enough bitching and moaning for one night. I've always been one of those people who didn't really cry... what’s the point? It isn't going to solve or help to rectify the issue at hand. That is why I usually feel bad when I ask for help, cry, or inspire some form of pity in other people.

I guess I'll ice my neck pop another Flexilrol and keep my fingers crossed that it feels better in the morning!!!

7 comments:

lola said...

I hope you feel better!

I think I understand what you're saying about family. I have friends that are fun to be around but I don't know if I could count on them to really be there if I needed them to be. I may be misunderstanding what you're saying, but that's just how I feel about some people :)

jlc said...

I was just thinking this last night. I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by my family while my hubby is gone. My closest friends all have super busy careers and schedules so we meet up only once a week or so... Mom's in Spain and Hubbs is in Iraq. And last night all I wanted was someone to come over at like 11pm... haha! So true. At least Piper my puppy is SOME company no??

Honestly... if you wanna talk just email me : Bumbee214@gmail.com


Hope the neck gets better soon!!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I totally get what you mean by family and other's not understanding. Unless your in or have been in that situation you really have no idea what's it like. I have people who listen but they just don't get it.

Hope you feel better!

Mrs. G.I Joe said...

Gosh, could it be a neck crink? I get those a lot and they HURT!!! Wish we lived closer cause I am totally up for just hanging out, just because I don't want to be alone:p I guess I can't completely relate to the other part of your post though:( I mean I get it, but because I have family that would be there in a minute just because I had a bad dream makes that hard to understand:p We're closer then what most people consider close though and I realize I was exremely fortunate to be given them! However, they are 6 hours away now that I live in Georgia...I kind of had a bad day a few weeks back and was on the phone with my sister crying, it was over something that happened to me in my past and I finally broke down about it, she was going to drop everything and drive down that minute...I'm totally up for company tonight though! How far is Colorado again? lol...Night girl and I hope you feel better in the morning.

Nikki said...

I really hope your neck is ok. I am kind of concerned but that's the nurse in me I think.

I know how you feel. I sometimes feel selfish that I am home with our families while Joe is away with no one. But I do get lonely. I do just want some company so bad sometimes. But I have learned to really enjoy myself and when I have moments like that, I try to do something for me. Like read a book, get a mani, whatever makes me happy. I hate to do it alone but when I am done it really makes me feel great. Just a thought, hang in there. I know those moments and they aren't easy.

Paula said...

Honey, hope your neck gets feeling better, I know that it is very tiring being in pain, going thru the back pain and surgery with Neals back gave me a little insight as how pain affects someone. As far as calling on people, (family) to just come and hang out...what would you do if someone in your family called you and expressed that they just needed some company, for no emergency, just to have someone to hang with...would you drop everything an be with them? Of course you would, even if you had been at work all day and even if Kevin was home,...your family feels the same way and while they may have busy lives, they are not too busy for their family. It is sometimes hard to ask for help, but people will be there for you ,just as you would be there for them. Give them the opportunity to help you, that also blesses their lives..love you dearly
Mom

Jenna said...

I used to live in Clorado Springs and man I can not tell you how much I wish Adam was stationed there. I went to the Colorado College and had many collegey type fun job offers. Nope-- stationed in Washington, where I know no one and hate the weather.

That's why I am moving to Arizona. Need more family and better place to live.