I live in Germany! Umm.. can anyone else say "duh"?! Seriously, it's been the only thing I've blogged about (practically) since August! Well, it finally hit me after the craziness of the last 4 days; We're here.
In all fairness this "new" awakening may have something to do with the fact that today is the first day I've seen the sun/skies since we arrived. Strange how cloud-cover can make things feel so small and confining. The clouds have cleared for at least a few days, another 4-6 days of snow is expected to start this Thursday. Which is a-okay by me. I love the snow and it's nice that I'm not responsible for doing anything with it.
I really just expected to be inspired and fall in love with Europe immediately. But really all I know if thus far is the Lagerhof Inn, which isn't saying much, housekeeping doesn't even make the bed, and they encourage you to use the towels more than once (which doesn't bother me, but just goes to show the differences). But I think the stress of the last month (more specifically the last two weeks) caught up with me... I hate that I'm starting to feel depressed, versus reveling in my surroundings; you know, diving in head first and all of that. No offense or anything for this next part to fam and friends back in the good ol' 719, but it's not even that I'm home sick. So far that isn't the issue. So far the issue is stress and feeling of being trapped. Oh, and I'm nervous. I have that "new kid" syndrome. Beyond all of that "how do I make friends" crapola I'm scared of offending the locals which is keeping me from venturing off post, I don't know any of the customs and honestly I don't even understand where to start. Generally I'm overwhelmed.
Here's what I do know: Today is December 13th (i think, haha) a meer 12 days before Christmas Eve, I have no Christmas tree, no gifts to exchange, no car and no language skills (given my current geographic location). I can call a cab to take me to downtown Baumholder, which I'm told doesn't have much to offer. I really wanted to get to a Christmas Market this year. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and participate in something new... all of this is hard without a car. A cab is 60 Euro (roundtrip) to the train station plus fare to where ever we head, just kind of spendy right now.
I'm not one to wallow, I really try hard not to isolate myself but currently I'm finding it difficult to finding reasons not to retreat....