Monday, December 13, 2010

Reality

I live in Germany! Umm.. can anyone else say "duh"?! Seriously, it's been the only thing I've blogged about (practically) since August! Well, it finally hit me after the craziness of the last 4 days; We're here.

In all fairness this "new" awakening may have something to do with the fact that today is the first day I've seen the sun/skies since we arrived. Strange how cloud-cover can make things feel so small and confining. The clouds have cleared for at least a few days, another 4-6 days of snow is expected to start this Thursday. Which is a-okay by me. I love the snow and it's nice that I'm not responsible for doing anything with it.

I really just expected to be inspired and fall in love with Europe immediately. But really all I know if thus far is the Lagerhof Inn, which isn't saying much, housekeeping doesn't even make the bed, and they encourage you to use the towels more than once (which doesn't bother me, but just goes to show the differences). But I think the stress of the last month (more specifically the last two weeks) caught up with me... I hate that I'm starting to feel depressed, versus reveling in my surroundings; you know, diving in head first and all of that. No offense or anything for this next part to fam and friends back in the good ol' 719, but it's not even that I'm home sick. So far that isn't the issue. So far the issue is stress and feeling of being trapped. Oh, and I'm nervous. I have that "new kid" syndrome. Beyond all of that "how do I make friends" crapola I'm scared of offending the locals which is keeping me from venturing off post, I don't know any of the customs and honestly I don't even understand where to start. Generally I'm overwhelmed.

Here's what I do know: Today is December 13th (i think, haha) a meer 12 days before Christmas Eve, I have no Christmas tree, no gifts to exchange, no car and no language skills (given my current geographic location). I can call a cab to take me to downtown Baumholder, which I'm told doesn't have much to offer. I really wanted to get to a Christmas Market this year. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about and participate in something new... all of this is hard without a car. A cab is 60 Euro (roundtrip) to the train station plus fare to where ever we head, just kind of spendy right now.

I'm not one to wallow, I really try hard not to isolate myself but currently I'm finding it difficult to finding reasons not to retreat....

7 comments:

Mrs H. said...

I felt the same way when we first got to japan. Hubs was doing his thing and I was stuck inside bc I didn't speak Japanese and had no car. Walking around with two hyper boys and no stroller WASNT an option. It will get easier and you will pick up the important customs fast. Like here it bowing, it shows that you respect the person. Enjoy the snow!

MRS Jen McNeil said...

we are stationed in baumholder too. we have been here almost a year and have only been a handful of places so far. its hard to travel bc im a big scardey to do it alone with the kids....the hubs always seems to be at training. anyways, just wanted to say hi. maybe we could meet up sometime. we live in smith, right down the hill from the hotel...hang in there girl!

Hannah said...

I have felt that way before as both a child of an army dad and a student studying abroad and I promise that it all gets better. There are many other women and families just like yours that will be there to welcome you with open arms.

Also, the German winter markets are fab and you have 12 more days to hit them up so don't stress if you haven't gotten to them yet! Take a little bit of time to acclimate to the temperature and time change and once you're recharged - go conquer the world!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Hang in there! I'm sure once you get lay of the land you'll be out and about. If you're staying in why not look up some of the language online? I got my minor in German and the basics are too hard to learn.

Jessica @ {Mis}Adventures of an Army Wife said...

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about your language skills. As someone who has lived in a few foreign countries, I've learned that a good attitude, a quick laugh, and a willingness to play charades (to describe what you want) will get you far. And, in reality, a lot of them probably speak at least a little bit of English anyway. Plus, one of the best ways to learn the language and culture is to get out there and experience it!

Megan said...

When I was in Baumholder I hopped on the city bus and paid 3 euro to get to the train station. It's SO simple and most bus drivers speak some english. They are very used to American's there, go to the Frankfurt market!! Its wonderful and if I remember right you can take a train right there without any stops from Idar Oberstein. Go to bahn.de and switch the language to english to see what times it leaves.

Megan said...

Oh and if you go on the weekend get the Schönes-Wochenende-Ticket. It's 39 euro and you can use it all day for up to 5 people.