Thursday, July 14, 2011

Military Wife Complaints

zSo, do you guys know the military spouse that complains about EVERYTHING: TriCare, MyCAA, employment opportunities, housing, MP, neighbors, uniforms, deployments, Military OneSource.... the list can go on and on and on; it's never ending. I don't know about you guys but I have found far to many martyrs in our ranks. (I'm sure this will be another of my unpopular opinions, so be it). I'm kind of over it. I get it's tough. I get some have it tougher than others. Honestly, I don't want to hear "woe is me" all the time. I am a firm believer is none of us our victims of our choices; we chose to be where we are, therefore you should embrace it. All of it. The good with the bad. Furthermore, I don't feel TriCare is the devil. I was raised a military brat; with doctors on base, in uniform passing out 800 milligrams of Motrin (aka Vitamin M) like it's candy. However, there are downfalls to all insurance companies ::cough cough:: premiums ::cough cough::

I have just come to the conclusion that some people will never be satisfied. Some people will always concentrate on the negative verses the positive. Some people will bitch and whine regardless of all their blessings.

My favorite complaint is how the military moves our active spouse around all the time making it impossible for the milspouse to maintain a career. As valid as this may be... I say "So what?" I was raised by a working-milspouse-mother and an active duty service member. I know many other career oriented, working military spouses. It's do-able. However, you do have to choose a practical (to the lifestyle) career. I always hear "But then you throw kids in the mix.." following the "I can't find or maintain a career" argument. I kind of feel like these constantly complaining milspouses won't be satisfied until they are provided salaries as there active counterparts are. It bugs me.

I feel as an Army wife I support my husband, I maintain the household, pay the bills, I miss and I worry for my husband while he's deployed. I fight for my marriage when he's home and we battle through reintegration. HOWEVER, I will never sacrifice or serve the way my husband does. He earns the paycheck- I do not. There is a huge leap from the soldier to the spouse.

Again this is my opinion based off complaints of milspouses that I know.

This is my life because I chose it knowingly. I complain to. This is not holier than thou vice woe is me. I get that nothing is perfect. My point is simply that this life verses any other is no better or worse. All lifestyles have problems and ups and downs, positives versus negatives. This is life.

Count your blessings. That is all.

13 comments:

Silke C said...

AMEN to that sister!! And when you thought it is bad while you are stateside or in Germany, wait til you see South Korea and it's Spouses. :laugh:
I am with you and your opinion every single bit and thanks for telling everyone again!
xoxo

ALW said...

Amen! Couldn't agree more! :)

Anonymous said...

I love that I can get a job stripping outside of any military post........best portable career by far! Totally kidding!

I hear ya! I tell you what I would much rather be able to move around to all of these different places with my husband rather than doing an unaccompanied tour or living in the same boring place day.after.day.

I think we are all entitled to a "I hate the day" every once in awhile, but I'm with you I don't want to hear a constant whine from these wives.

Megan said...

AMEN!! Almost every day I hear spouses complain about the Army and how they don't care about family and a million other things. It gets really annoying. It's true that people will always find something to complain about, military or not. :/

Kate said...

In particular I am grateful for our medical insurance when so many in my age range are about to get kicked off their parents' insurance and probably don't have many great alternatives. Sure there was a time or two that I had to sit and read a book while waiting for a prescription, but then that prescription was FREE! I'll take it!

Megan said...

I hear this! I'm always amazed at how much complaining I hear (and read) that people do about the Army. It also drives me insane when wives blame the Army for everything. I really believe the military has given us a good life, and while it does have hardships and sacrifice, there is a lot of positive as well!

Erin said...

I am totally guilty of complaining about tricare's prescription coverage, but I still appreciate how great we have it with medical insurance. I can understand when military wives talks about the hardships of this life, but you also have to take personal responsibility. I choose to be here. Yes, it is harder to start my career, but I knew that going in.

Whimsy said...

I agree! I'm curious what type of career your mother had. I didn't meet my military member until after I started my career (one which is not easily relocated) and am looking to start my second career.

Jen said...

I completely agree!!!!

Angie said...

I totally agree with you!!! There isn't a milspouse out there who didn't know what she was getting in to when she signed her marriage license. Everyone chose it, therefore don't complain about. Heck I know a milspouse who ran over her husband with her car to keep him from deploying. Yep, true story. Its really sad. Just embrace it and enjoy it!!

lola said...

AMEN!!!! :) Tricare fucking rocks my socks girlie, you know that! :)

xoxoxo

Erin said...

It's so funny that you posted this! 1. I'm so guilty of some of this it's not even funny... 2. My husband and I were just discussing this the other day.

When I complain about military life, I always do so during days when life is really being terrible. That said, I always try to remember the good things about it. I hate Tricare, but having health insurance is great.

The one thing that really gets me and really just pisses me off is milspouses who don't seem to understand their sacrifice is nothing compared to their husbands/wives and that they are NOT the one serving. Sadly, I have met many a wife who don't seem to understand that distinction.

This was a great post. It is a great reality check and I think I will bookmark it so I can read it on days when I'm getting really upset about life. :)

Nina said...

I couldn't agree with you more. People tend to complain about everything nowadays, and blame for military and whatnot for not having what they would like to have.

Tricare may not always be the best insurance but people are taken care of; and on the other hand there are also very, very poor-quality health insurances in the civilian world. Having an insurance that allows patients to visit any doctor at minimum cost is not that simple but very often requires a person to work in corporations that are able to provide excellent benefits to the employees.

And what comes to the employment and career.... I will probably have nearly every other person hating me after this comment but it definitely is possible to build a career while doing the military thing. It just requires excellent networking skills, proper education, and active searching. Companies even let people work remotely if they feel the person is worth that effort. In my opinion the biggest challenge with the career is people's own attitude, sometimes laziness or lack of dedication. Smart, diligent people can and will make it to work.